In this series we will be discussing here three different situations.

1. Persons who are alone and seeking to find a suitable soul to unite their lives with.

2. Those who are already in a satisfying (at least partially) relationship and would like to improve it.

3. Those who are in a dysfunctional relationship and are not sure whether to stay and work on improving it or leave.

In all cases some common rules are the following:

1.It is imperative that you be totally and honestly yourself. If you are not yourself then there is no relationship. The other does not have a relationship with you, but with your "mask". Not with the real you. Also, the only reason not to be honestly ourselves is fear – and that is not a good basis for a relationship.

2. Remember that you are worthy and lovable just as you are. Your self-worth as a human and as a unique expression of the divine is absolute and immutable (just as it is for all other beings) regardless of how others perceive you or behave towards you. It is essential that you experience your self-worth internally and not seek it through the other – otherwise you will be unnecessarily taxing the relationship.

3. I suggest that you read the book Conscious Love Relationships.

Part B

For those who are already in a relationship

and would like to improve it.

The ideas below are from the book Conscious Love Relationships.

1. Inner Preparation – we need to:

A. Clarify our values, needs, and preferred life style:

You can find help for that by answering the questionnaires:

Click here to see the main questionnaire:

<a href="http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/relationships/questionnaire.asp">Click for the Basic Questionnaire </a>

And the preparatory questionnaire: <a href="http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/relationships/preparatory.asp">Click for the Preparatory Questionnaire </a>

B. Learn To Love Your Self:

You can find much help for this at the following links:

C. Develop Inner Security. Check out the following articles:

2. Taking Responsibility For Our Reality

A. The Other Is To Blame For Me.

B. I Am To Blame For The Other.

The following chapter from the book Conscious Love Relationships will help immensely with this:

3. Learn to communicate more effectively with the other through I-messages and active listening

A. Expressing Needs And Feelings Rather Than Blame.

B. Clarifying Our Needs To The Other Before C. Active Listening

4. Understand the other’s:

a. Needs (such as: affection, love, approval, freedom, respect, unity)

b. Beliefs (such as: I am in danger, I am not worthy, my freedom is in danger)

c. Reactions

5. Keep Learning And Growing

6. Be Totally Honest – Share Feelings & Needs

7. Overcome Fears Of Being Close & Open with other.

8. Distinguish between the other & behavior.

9. See The Other As Your Teacher.

Determine what lessons we need to learn through the other’s behaviors that annoy us.

10. Keep Promises

11. Be Able To Be Happy & Secure Alone.

12. Develop Unconditional Love

13. Develop Own Relationship with the Divine.

14. Love And Accept Selves

15. Accept Happiness & Peace

16. Free Selves From Past Programming and Prototypes

17. Do not speak to others about our loved one, but only directly to him or her (except, of course, to a counselor).

18. Participate in groups for the purpose of self-knowledge and creating interpersonal harmony.

19. Engage in common activities - participate in each other’s activities.

20. Express love and admiration such as:

a. Gratitude for help and service

b. Acknowledgment of what the other does

c. Recognition of the other’s abilities, qualities and virtues

d. Love and appreciation

21. Meet regularly for communication on all levels. This is best done on a weekly basis.

22. If necessary, see a professional counselor together. Matter of growth

23. Visualize the other in light and send love on a daily basis.