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The Question of Trust Thus concerning the subject of trust, one possible deduction here is: we can trust outside as much as we can trust inside (ourselves). And this outside includes the whole world, from our social system to our close circle of friends, to that most hidden angle of our mind when even we ourselves seldom dare to observe. And how can we trust ourselves when we have made so many mistakes in the past? So many times we have whispered to ourselves: "How I imagined it, and what it turned out to be in reality!!!" So how can one trust oneself, when one has repeatedly observed how naïve, foolish, ignorant, illogical, unreasonable and one has been? But are not all these what make us human? And are not all these a good part of what brings about change, in all sphere of human life? Could there be a new social system without seemingly unreasonableı ideas or ideals of some dissenters? Would logic grow without illogic? Would cleverness develop without foolishness? Isnıt naivety the complementary pole of perhaps wisdom? Doesnıt creativity spring from the courage to be them all? From that state of playfulnessı that we envy most when we observe children? Arenıt the above qualities all parts of such playfulness? Have we ever seen a serious, logical, reasonable person appearing as though he/she is in a state of child-like playfulness?ı In one word, whether in the sphere of sociology or psychology change is brought up by the inclination to doubt and question some established order, no matter what may be the price paid. But not all changes are the result of some form of doubt and protest, such as changes observed in Nature. Spring does not arise as a result of protest against Winter, does it? Night has no opposition with Day. Perhaps it is now time to learn from this natural process of change instead of oppositionı as humans can no longer afford any kind of wars, not only for their own selves, and their children, and their race, and their nation, and their ideal and their religion, but for the sake of the whole Planet Earth. I am sure we ordinary human beings throughout the world are shouting no more atomic bombs please!ı There is another physical law that can be helpful here, the law of entropy, which says the amount of disorder increases with time, unless some energy is spent to keep the existing order intact. Donıt clean your room and soon you would not be able to enter it! So now the question can be are the above qualities (ignorance, foolishness) the side products of the energy spent to build a castle of sand or paint a canvas, or write a poem, or doubt the existing social order, or are they the fuel of the energy thus spent? When do we realize that we have been foolish, ignorant and all the rest? Surely, it is never at the beginning of an emergence of a thought and then acting on its basis that such judgment can be put forward, but only when we have seen the results and consequences of the action that the corresponding thought has brought about. Was Einstein an ignorant fool to explore an area that led to invention of atomic bomb? Was Edison a stubborn little child to continue with an experiment that had failed hundreds of times? Arenıt we happy that he was such a fool (as his colleagues thought of him at least until he finally reached were he wanted, that is) to discover electricity? And if it is only afterwards that an action shows that it has arisen out of mere ignorance, how can we judge in advance? Until the invention of microscope Pasteur seemed just a foolish scientist who thought that the cause of decomposition is some microscopicı organisms. This was the fate of many great geniuses, was it not? How many times more should Socratic chalice be filled to be swallowed by some courageous soul? Can there be an end to Dark Ages of Humanity in all spheres of life? How is it that in some cases faith can be such dark, ugly, mortal phenomenon and in others such a progressive light bringing element? In such a human situation that we are all in now how can we dare to have any form of faith? Donıt we want to learn from our mistakes? Have we not suffered enough both as an adult individual and as a social historical species? How can we trust who says the Truth? We start to doubt something as soon as we experience some sort of pain in relation to it. Concerning the question of trust, the pain appears when we start to reach this conclusion that it was wrong to trust. How do we know that it was wrong? Because of the pain and suffering it led to. But from yet another point of view, is it not only through pain that we learn to avoid what is harmful? The pain suffered from the sting of mosquitoes is what makes us to first identify these insects as harmful and secondly to avoid their bites. This is how we learn to avoid any bite, whether of an outer source such as mosquitoes or snakes or scorpions, or of an inner source, that is the bite of conscience! So pain is the emotionalı basis of learning about life threatening situations. Therefore, where the question of survival is involved then the inclination to avoid pain at any price would not work as it has no survival value, unless the threatening factorı is so deeply engraved in the memory system of the living organism that the mere sight of it would instigate the mechanism of fight or flee. However let us trust the biologists, zoologists and medical scientists to inform us about the outer sources of bites and concentrate on the inner source of bite, that is the bite of conscience. For the bite of conscience is one of the most painful bites that can lead to a life of fear-based living. The fears involved here are all morality-based, whether personal or the one imposed from outside. Do not transcend morality, do not commit a sinı and then there is no pain and hence no bite of conscience. So in our minds, first a whole library of what sins are is established and then the content of this library is infused and injected into individuals who subsequently lose their innocence and conceives themselves as sinful. In fact it is the awareness or consciousness of our sinfulness that bites our conscience as a mosquito bites our body. As infants we trustı our mothers, but we donıt always find her to be there for us. It hurts and we hate her for being an outer source of pain-producing-bite for us. These pains depending on the extent and intensity are gradually engraved in our developing memory. What is it here that is the source of pain? The feeling of rejection and not being loved enough. It is a true feeling of fear at this stage of our development when our whole survival depends on our outer resources. However as mind and our inner resources develop, that is as we become increasingly less dependent on outer elements for our survival, the greatest part of that feeling of fear would then be baseless. It changes to an emotion, that is, a feeling arising from our minds and not our basic instincts (or what is literary called heartı). These fears grow as we repeat the same experience of trying to depend on another (human being or any resource) for receiving nourishment, safety and loveı and we fail again. But who wants to be so foolish, naïve, ignorantidealist, to repeat a painful experience especially now that one is no longer that helpless, hopelesschild? The answer is: whoever that is so foolish and un-educate-able to repeat the same mistake. To trust instead of mistrust? But isnıt the mistrust the source of oppositions and wars? Can we as the inhabitants of this beautiful planet possibly afford more oppositions and wars? So what can be done? I can not trust others as they might hurt me. But do I want to stay in a dark mistrustful lonely cold world? I can not trust any Ideal as I have witnessed the collapse of so many of them and each time I was shocked to death. But what would then be our difference with animals? What a labyrinth we are trapped in! It seems that the solution lies in deciding to throw out that memory together with all those fear-based moral conditionings. There is this very old Indian story about a tiger cub growing in a flock of sheep and thus adapting a sheep-like way of life, with the same fears and reactions, until one day a tiger attacks the same flock. Not until it took the sheep-like tiger to a well to see his true face, the tiger refuses to accept that it is not a sheep! How in an instant we can come to this realization that what and who we considered as enemy because of wrong trainingı is in reality our friend and how such a realization can immediately change us into an enemy of that we considered friend! So who can we trust and how? Such shocking realizations can further destroy all forms of trust. Can they not? What happens when we discover that mother was absent or she unconsciously rejected us because she herself had gone through the same painful process with her own mother and experienced the same pain that has become at least the psychological -- foundation of our mistrust? Could sheep-like tiger blame the sheep for saving its life although they had apparently kept it from developing its own true nature and individuality instead of adopting theirs? Instead of developing the courage as other tigers possess, a non-herd like animal anyway, it had become so fearful even to nearly die out of fear at the mere site its own species that it had mistakenly taken as its enemies. We lose faith and trust each time we depend on an outside source for filling our needsı instead of our inner resources as an individual, as a community, as a nation, as a race, as a country. As any of these entities we are just interested in our own little interests. Our sheep-like interests. That is perhaps why all over the world fundamentalists are appealing to the most inhuman ways of fighting for their ideals, their library of invented sins liesı because they see a generation of earth-loving, life-loving individuals arising all over the world, resisting their life-killing, solemn, self-centered ways of life in a rather novel way of simply holding hands with the very ones that it is said to be the enemy only if they have the same ideal of rather saving the Earthı than their petty personal, racial, national interests. ********************************* Who is Roya Monajem? Like every body else as a soul in search of herself she studied medicine to learn about human body and psyche for six years, then studied, worked, wrote articles and carried out research on acupuncture therapy and Iranian herbal medicine for years. A few of her researches were published in American Journal of Acupuncture. Meanwhile translating and publishing over dozens of books that she found helpful in her own search for a "theory of health and disease" in the field of medicine, psychology, mythology, philosophy, occult and also a few novels. Participated in producing a TV serial on "man in search of equilibrium" that was banned, although it won a prize in a documentary film festival (Roshd) in Iran. She started to realize that with demystification of mysteries, the age for certain relationships such as "master-disciple" is over. Now the whole world is like a temple and one's relationships is one's best spiritual master in "knowing oneself." So she started to look for a world-view that could make one independent of the need to have a spiritual guide or master in the traditional sense of the word, and the results of this search was presented in her book Womanhood-Motherhood (http:/irannet.com/books/womanhood-) and presented workshops on the subject for about five years. She worked as a freelance translator for Payvand.com for a year or so and now has a Roya's Corner at the same site (www.payvand.com/news/Roya's Corner, where she publishes pieces on what she considers to be the major concepts of life. She has been constantly casting away her overused old limiting selves, and acting as these dead selves' mortician and grave digger as far as she remembers, as any kind of self-identity stimulates the fear of loneliness and insecurity and thus lowering the power and inclination to love "selflessly." Since her high school years in England she has been reciting Robert Frost's little poem: I am nobody, Who are you? Are you nobody too? Then that makes a pair of us! ********************************* |
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