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Understanding the SexesRobert Elias NajemyUntil we do experience our inner fullness, we seek to find completion externally through a love partner. This effort towards attunement with the other sex brings stability, joy, security and affirmation but is not without problems and challenges. One main challenge is being able to understand, respond to and find solutions for the need differences when they occur. Some of these main conflicts are differing needs for: a. Cleanliness - order b. Affection, sex c. How to use money d. How to bring up children e. Social activity Most of these conflicts actually have to do with: 1. Freedom vs. control = power 2. Who is right = self-worth COMMUNICATION DIFFERENCESStudies have shown, however, that women use communication in order to create an emotional connection or bond. Thus the communication itself is the purpose. Men seem to perceive communication as a means towards some result such as solving a problem. Thus, we often have the situation in which a woman will start a conversation about a subject, not because she wants a solution but because she experiences a connection through the communication itself. The man however, feels that communication has only one purpose, to arrive at a conclusion or solution and then there is no more need to communicate. Thus the universal problem that women feel men are aloof and men that women are interrogators. MEN DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT EMOTIONSIf she wants to talk about his emotions, it is even worse. First of all he seldom knows what his emotions are. He has been trained a whole lifetime to suppress, hide or shut off what he is feeling. Secondly, even if he has some awareness of what he feels, he feels totally demeaned if he has to admit that he feels self-doubt or fear. Men in general do not like to admit their fears or weaknesses. All of the above are of course generalizations, and there will be exceptions. We have here a serious problem in communication in which each sex will need to understand the other. WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHERMen on the other hand need to understand that women need to generate feelings of unity and love through verbal communication. Men need to acknowledge womenÕs feelings rather than find reasons why they shouldnÕt have them. Be Well*************** Reference Box for Publishers ***** ************************************ http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html . His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) Return to index of shorter articles ********** "The Psychology of Happiness"by Robert Najemy is available at Amazon.com at:Amazon.com Or you can get it at a 40% discount atThe Psychology of Happiness with 40% discountView OnlyView The Psychology of Happiness********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Subscribe to Clarity - FreeFree subscription May you be well on all levels of your being. | |