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Dealing With Criticism and Difference in OpinionRobert Elias NajemyWhy this is important We often become emotionally disturbed during a disagreement, or an argument, or when someone criticizes us or disagrees with us. In such cases our personality usually feels hurt, demeaned and in danger. When we feel this way, we destroy our own happiness, clarity and health and often behave in ways which we later regret. A simple technique for gaining clarity is to: 1. Remember that concerning criticism, there are two possibilities: a. The other person might be correct in his or her observations and criticism. In this case we would benefit by admitting it and making the proper adjustment in our behavior. We have everything to gain by listening and evolving through othersŐ comments. What prevents us is the belief that we are not lovable if we are not perfect. Thus, we do not want to see or admit our faults. When we realize that we are worthy of love and respect even when we are not perfect or right, then we will be able to look at our faults. b. The other person might be wrong. In this case, it is his or her projection, and we need not be affected by these misconceptions or projections. We have in this case the lesson of loving ourselves and also the others even when they perceive us in distorted and negative ways. 2. One solution would be simply not to react one way or the other at first, but to reflect upon what has been said for some time so as to evaluate whether or not it is true. We can establish a space in our minds where we can store such questions about our personality structure or actions so as to observe objectively for ourselves if they are true. If they are not, then we simply continue on in the way we were. We need not feel hurt, angry, defend ourselves, prove ourselves, or attack. When we feel inner security and self-worth, we do not need to react in these ways. 3. We can simply thank the other for this feedback and tell him or her that we will think about this observation and will gradually come to our conclusions, and if necessary, make changes. We do not need to live our lives in accordance with othersŐ perceptions. We can listen to all, but follow ourselves. Note: A "thank you" is enough. Be Well*************** Reference Box for Publishers ***** ************************************ (Robert Elias Najemy's recently released book "The Psychology of Happiness" (ISBN 0-9710116-0-5) is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/redirect-home/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html . His writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) ************************************ Return to index of shorter articles ********** "The Psychology of Happiness"by Robert Najemy is available at Amazon.com at:Amazon.com Or you can get it at a 40% discount atThe Psychology of Happiness with 40% discountView OnlyView The Psychology of Happiness********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Subscribe to Clarity - FreeFree subscription May you be well on all levels of your being. |
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