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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 2 of your 6 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Aiding the Dying ". These segments are from the book "The Mystical Circle of Lïfe" which has an abundance of useful information on death and dying and which we suggest you order as an ebook (pdf file) at http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. This information is also explained in the book "The Psychology of Happiness" which can be found in your booksores at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** 1) PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS The first and most obvious help that we can give to a dying person is to help him to arrange his practical needs and comforts. If the patient is able to face his pending death, he will want to arrange the details of his last will and testament. Besides that, there will be matters of insurance, details of how the family will continue without his or her presence. There may also be a need to find someone to substitute him or her in professional responsibilities. The patient will be able to leave much more peacefully if he knows that his family and work responsibilities here on the earth will be covered in some way. A patient, however, may not be able to face discussing these matters, and thus one may not be able to help him. HE SHOULD NOT BE PUSHED. NO ONE SHOULD BE PUSHED BEYOND HIS OR HER OWN LIMITS IN FACING DEATH. Gradually, as the days pass, the inevitable will become more acceptable. We will discuss shortly the psychological stages a dying patient passes through, as he approaches his departure. 2) FULFILLING NEEDS AND COMFORTS We may ask, «Is there any thing I can do for you or bring you, to make you more comfortable?» We are so often so overcome by depression with the fact that death is near, that we forget that the person is still alive and has the ability to enjoy life. He may want a book, or some special music, or a favorite food. He may want to have contact with an old friend or with some special person. He may want to see his priest. We may bring plants and peaceful music to his room. We may bring a musical instrument and sing together. He may want to see some slides, or a film or video which may be interesting to him. Any of these may or may not be interesting to the patient, depending on his psychological state. They should not be insensitively pushed onto a person who doesn¹t show interest. 3) HELPING HIM TO RELAX The various mental conflicts, which permeate the mind of a person approaching death, often prevent him from being able to relax or even to sleep well. In addition there are often strong pains, or bodily difficulties, which increase muscular tension and prevent relaxation. The tension created by the pain in turn creates more pain, which in turn increases the tension in a vicious circle. In many hospitals today patients are taught how to overcome pain through deep relaxation and concentration. By systematic, conscious relaxation of the muscles, the pain can be lessened or even eliminated. The patient can also be taught to imagine healing energies and light penetrating the areas that are diseased, not functioning or painful, and begin to heal them or at least remove the pain with the power of the mind. Cassettes are available for helping patients learn such techniques. Another way to help the other to relax is with «comeditational comforting breathing», which is a Buddhist technique, in which we breath with the other, guiding him to breath slowly as we make a sound AAAAAA on his exhalation. He also may make the sound AAAAA with you at first, until he tires and cannot continue. Then you can continue for him. You may also count his breaths on the exhalation, or say a pray or mantra for him on his exhalation. In this way you are connected through the process of breathing for about twenty minutes. This helps the patient to transcend pain and connect with deeper states of inner peace. 4) MASSAGE, STROKING AND LOVING CONTACT For those who know how to massage, this can be a wonderful way to relax and remove the pain for the suffering patient. If the patient is seriously ill, then one should be sure that massage is not contraindicated. Often when massage pressure might be contraindicated on the suffering area, it may be possible to bring relief by doing reflexology massage on the bottom of the feet for the corresponding area which we want relieve. Again one should know what one is doing, if the patient is seriously ill, especially if there is any internal bleeding. If one doesn¹t know how to give a massage, or feels that massage is not wise under the circumstances, (a doctor can be consulted), then equal benefit can be achieved by simply stroking the patient in a loving way on the arms, the legs, the head or any other part of the body which one intuitively feels would be comforting for the patient. Spiritual healing in which we place our hands on the person¹s chest, abdomen or forehead and allow healing energies to pass through us from God to the patient is of invaluable benefit for healing, for relaxing and even for passing out of the body peacefully. Simply place your hands where your intuition guides you and pray to God that His energies and love pass through you into the other. Then let your be mind empty and allow the energy and peace to flow. If it is best not to touch the body at all, then we can do the same allowing our hands to pass over the body about 2 to 5 inches from the body. It this way, we stroke and smooth out the energy body. This is sometimes called therapeutic touch and is used in many hospitals by nurses. It relieves pain and speeds healing. Simply holding hands or letting one¹s hand rest gently on the patient¹s body offers an opportunity for the transfer of love, energy and peace that the patient is greatly in need of. There is no greater healing energy than LOVE. Many people are in hospitals and mental clinics simply because they have not had enough LOVE and AFFECTION in their lives. Loving contact can also be established through words, or even through the eyes, In the last days less words are necessary and the patient may have his eyes closed more and more. In such times, our loving presence in the room is enough. We need not talk, nor necessarily make any kind of physical or verbal contact. We may sit silently and be peaceful and loving. 5) MEDITATION, PRAYER AND POSITIVE THOUGHT PROJECTION As our friend, or loved one, begins to spend less time in the waking state and more and more in the sleep state, preparing for his departure, we can sit silently and focus our minds in meditation or prayer. We can bring our minds to a state of pure peace. Then, if we like, we may pray for the spirit who is about to be liberated. We may pray for a cure, or we may pray for safe guidance, or we may simply visualize our loved one surrounded by white light. As he is surrounded with this white healing light, we may visualize the Christ or some saint or angel coming to help him. That help, may enable him to get well and continue living some more years, or it may ensure that he will leave his body peacefully and proceed under the guidance of these beings of light, along the path of his spiritual evolution. It is best to leave this decision to God, for we do not always know what is best for the spirit. Our personal desires and needs make us believe that it is always best to live. But that spirit¹s time may have come and it may be best for him to leave now. Our prayers for him to stay are often based on our own selfish needs and desires, and these prayers can prevent him from being able to leave. It is best to surround him with white light and pray to God to help him, and leave his fate (and ours) up to God. We may express our preference to God that he be healed, but then we must leave the final result to His Infinite Wisdom. The purpose of life is not simply to live, it is to evolve. Death is a very important step in the process of evolution. 6) BE CHEERFUL, OPTIMISTIC, HAPPY Our thoughts and feelings have a deep effect upon the people around us. This is even more true of the ill person who is more sensitive, open and easily affected by the various thoughts and feelings we bring with us into his room. Even if we do not express these thoughts and emotions verbally, the patient will perceive them. Psychiatrist Richard Alpert who attended a seminar by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross explains here how she brought this point across to an audience of medical professionals. She asked them: «How would you feel if you came into a hospital room to visit a twenty-eight year old mother dying of cancer?» The answers called out from the audience included: angry, frustrated, pity, sadness, horror, confusion, etc. Then she asked us, «How would you feel if you were that twenty-eight year old mother and everyone who came to visit felt those feelings?» Suddenly it was apparent to all of us how we surrounded such a being with our reactions to death, and forget that there is a being just like us in that body, who needs to make straight contact with someone». Thy dying or seriously ill patient has enough inner conflicts and problems of his own, without our adding our fears, depression and negative thinking. As much as possible we should try to strengthen our faith in some basic spiritual beliefs: a) We are immortal spirits and only the physical body «dies». b) The person who dies is perfectly well after death; much better than before death. c) We too, are immortal spirits who have the strength to continue to live and even to be happy after our loved one leaves. We will certainly pass through some emotional pain due to the loss of this important person, but we will sooner or later get over it and continue our lives. Why not let it be sooner? d) All earthly events are happening according to a DIVINE PLAN, and thus no spirit can leave its body, before its time has come. e) Life is always giving us exactly what we need in order to grow spiritually, even if it might be unpleasant. The pending death of our loved ones (whether he eventually gets well or actually dies) is a spiritual opportunity to develop emotional, mental and spiritual maturity and strength. If we can remember these basic spiritual truths, then we will be able to be much more optimistic, cheerful and loving. We will have more love, energy and patience with which will help our loved one who is passing through such an internal crisis. We still have much more to offer in terms of emotional support, if we ourselves have overcome our negative emotions. We should, however, avoid false happiness, or empty smiles. We should not act out emotions that we do not truly have. If we connect with those spiritual truths, we will be naturally optimistic and peaceful. 7) STAYING AT HOME VS. STAYING IN A HOSPITAL It seems rather obvious that if it is at all possible, a person would prefer to spend his last days in the peaceful loving environment of his home. Although hospitals offer the advantage of emergency medical help, they leave much to be desired in offering the patient the conditions he needs to die with dignity, self-respect, peace and love. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, who worked daily in hospitals, firmly agrees. She makes the following comment about hospital environments: «He may cry for rest, peace and dignity, but he will get infusions, transfusions, a heart machine, or tracheotomy if necessary, He may want one single person to stop for one single minute so that he can ask one single question - but he will get a dozen people around the clock, all busily preoccupied with his heart rate, pulse, electrocardiogram or pulmonary functions, his secretions or excretions but not with him as a human being. He may wish to fight it all, but it is going to be useless fight, since all this is done in the fight for his life, and if they can save his life they can consider the person afterwards. Those who consider the person first may lose precious time to save his life! At least this seems to be the rationale or justification behind all this - or is it? Is the reason for this increasingly mechanical, depersonalized approach our own defensiveness? Is this approach our own way to cope with, and repress, the anxieties that a terminally or critically ill patient evokes in us? Is our concentration on equipment, on blood pressure our desperate attempt to deny the impending death which is so frightening and discomforting to us that we displace all our knowledge onto machines, since they are less close to us than the suffering face of another human being which would remind us once more of our lack of omnipotence, our own limits and failures, and last but not least perhaps our own mortality?» At home a dying patient can have his favorite meals which in many cases may give him the incentive to eat that which he needs in order to gain strength and perhaps get well. He will be surrounded with comfortable, friendly, warm and loving vibrations that will positively influence his state of mind and therefore his state of health. There will be less people walking in and out of his room, less noise and less disturbances all through the day. This, of course, may not be true of all home environments, some may not be conducive to health and peace of mind. Also, some illnesses just cannot be handled in a home environment, either because complicated instrumentation is necessary, or because there is just no one at home capable of tending to the patient¹s needs. Regardless of these facts, most patients would most likely like to spend their last days in the familiar environment of their home, and leave with peace and dignity, rather than to become just another corpse in a mechanized hospital. In many cases, the length of life is not nearly so important as the quality of life. Each dying or seriously ill person and his family will have to decide these matters for themselves. ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willãdefinetly want to get the book Mystical Circle of Life by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |