Holistic Harmony Network - free articles and books, psychology, relationships, cassettes, self-help and life clarification process

Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy.
*********************************
This is Part 33 of your 34 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Creating Harmonious Relationships".
You can find much more about relationships in the books "The Psychology of Happiness" and "Relationships of Conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy - both of which you can order as ebooks (pdf files) or hard copy http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
May you enjoy and benefit from them.
********************************
Romantic Rejection – Dealing with It
Robert Elias NajemyOne of our most devastating emotional experiences is the loss of a loved one.
I am addressing the loss of loved one to death and through "romantic rejection" as two separate situations. We will deal with the loss of a loved one to death in another article
The power which we give to our love partner to determine to such a large degree our security, happiness and self-worth is largely the result of our childhood experiences and especially unfinished business with our parents.
Thus we might need to also work on healing childhood experiences.
Affirmations for overcoming Romantic Rejection
Here is a list of some of the emotions we might feel when someone leaves us. Below each emotion we present some possible affirmations for getting free. These lists as always are there to guide you and never to limit you. There are many other possibilities.
1. Rejection (demeaned, worthless) because he/she does not want to be with me.
Even though until now I felt rejected (demeaned, worthless) because (name of person)____ left me, I now feel (realize, experience) my self-worth as a unique being without him/her.
2. Fear of continuing life without this person.
Even though until now I feared continuing life alone without (name of person)____ , I now feel (realize, experience) self-confidence and powerfully capable of dealing with life.
3. Fear (shame) of what others will think about me now that he/she has left.
Even though until now I feared what others would think because (name of person)____ left me , I now feel (realize, experience) my self-worth as a unique being, regardless of what they think.
4. Fear that I will not find anyone else to share my life with.
Even though until now, I feared I would not find anyone else to share my life with, I now am confident that I deserve and will attract the perfect being for me.
5. Hurt (pain, unhappiness, loneliness) of not having this person to hold, share, make love to, communicate with, etc.
Even though until now I felt I hurt (pain, unhappiness, loneliness) because I do not have (name of person)____ to hold (share, make love to communicate with etc. – be specific), I now experience the fullness of my being and of my life and lovingly connect with those around me.
6. Injustice (bitterness, resentment, betrayal) that he/she is unjustly harming, betraying, hurting us in this way.
Even though until now I felt Injustice (bitterness, resentment, betrayal) because (name of person)____ has behaved unjustly, I now have faith in the wisdom of what life gives me for my growth process.
7. Guilt (self-rejection) because I feel that I am to blame for his/her leaving.
Even though until now I felt guilt (self-rejection) because (name of person)____ left me, I now forgive and love myself, realizing that I have done and will do my best.
8. Jealousy if (because) he/she is with someone else
Even though until now I felt jealous because (name of person)____ is with someone else, I now feel the fullness of my being trust that life gives me exactly what I need for my growth process (self-actualization).
9. Anger (hate, revenge) because he/she has caused now so much pain.
Even though until now I felt anger (hate, revenge) because (name of person)____ left me (is with someone else), I now realize that I am perfectly capable of being happy and fulfilled without him/her.
10. Depression (disillusionment, discouragement) that I cannot have what I want and cannot do anything about it.
Even though until now I felt depressed (disillusioned, discouraged) because I could not be with (name of person)____ , I now realize (feel, experience) that I have the power to create the life I want.
It should not take long to work through all of the above. The pain which often takes months, and for some people, years, can be removed in a week or less. We help no one by feeling all these emotions.
Better to get on with our lives.
Below are some thoughts about what we can gain from such a situation.
LEARNING FROM A RELATIONSHIP BREAKDOWN
A divorce, separation or, in general, any loss of an important relationship is a painful experience. . Such pain can seriously diminish our peace and happiness. We can, however, use this inner discomfort for our spiritual benefit. If we are thinking of separating, there are many lessons we need to examine before we can come to the conclusion that we must separate from someone. But if the other leaves us or this separation has already happened, we might be able to benefit from the following.
1. Our first lesson is to examine our behavior to see how we might have contributed to the problem. Only in this way can we create a new healthy relationship if we chose to.
In relation to this we might want to examine the following:
a. We may have been criticizing, complaining, rejecting or otherwise causing the other to feel unaccepted.
b. We may have been seeking continual affirmation in ways that may have been tiring for the other.
c. Our fears may have been causing us to be over sensitive and annoying.
d. Perhaps we were playing games of power, who is right or who is more successful.
e. We might have been playing roles such as the child, the parent, the savior, the holy one, the rebel, the teacher or some other role which may have affected the other’s behavior.
f. We may have guilt feelings that were making us vulnerable to the other’s words or behaviors.
g. Perhaps we were not communicating our needs clearly and effectively as an adult and were suppressing ourselves or complaining, criticizing or threatening.
h. We might have been projecting onto the other our childhood or other experiences.
i. The other might have been reflecting back to us our lack of self-esteem or self-respect.
j. We may have attachments that were coming between us.
k. We may have inner conflicts, which were reflecting back to us from the other.
2. We may need to learn to love the other in spite of his or her behavior, regardless of whether we stay with that person or not.
3. We can discover that we can live without this person and that happiness, security and love are internal states that are always within us, if only we allow ourselves to experience them.
4. We can use this opportunity to develop greater inner strength so as to feel confident and able to face whatever may come to us in the game of life.
5. Most of us will need to change our self-image. We need now to learn to accept, love and respect ourselves more, so that we do not create the same problem in our next relationship or in life in general.
6. By directing our energies in a spiritual direction and developing a relationship with God - the Universal Being, we are no longer so vulnerable or so dependent on others for our feelings of security and self-worth.
7. We may also need to learn that the other’s decision to leave may not be a rejection at all. He or she may love and respect us dearly but be forced by other needs to seek happiness elsewhere.
Our lessons might be separated into five categories:
1. We might need to learn to communicate more effectively, assertively and lovingly.
2. Perhaps we need to let go of some attachments, which are increasing our conflicts with others and diminishing our happiness.
3. Examine our behaviors that might be annoying the other.
4. Free ourselves from subconscious programmings, which limit our self-esteem and ability to attract the behaviors that we deserve.
5. Develop inner feelings of security, self worth and freedom.
Once our happiness, security and love have become internalized, we can experience unconditional love.
Although we need to make every possible step to heal our relationships, if and when a relationship breaks down, there is still much we can learn.

********************************
Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp for a list of other email courses you can order - most are for free.
*******************************
(The advertisements in the beginning of the email support the web site which kindly offers us this free autoresponder service and are unrelated to the author or articles.)
********************************
ebooks available by Robert Elias Najemy
at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
1. Universal Philosophy
2. The Art of Meditation
3. Contemporary Parables
4. The Mystical Circle of Life
5. Relationships of Conscious Love
6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom
7. Total Emotional Freedom – EFT and Self -knowledge
8. Saram – The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche
And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site
9. The Psychology of Happiness
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
****************************************
Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies.
He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members.
His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html.
You can download FREE articles and e-books from http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also receive guidance on life issues.
****************************************

***********

Become a Holistic Harmony Affliate
Make money while you help others.
You can sell our ebooks from
your site or email list.
And receive 50% of all sales
that take place through you.
It is free!

Click below to help with
World Peace

CHECK OUT THE
FOLLOWING OFFERS

***********

***********

Herbs for Health

AyurCat for Cat Health Care

AyurDog for Dog Health Care

AyurGold for Healthy Blood

Ayurstate for Prostate Care

Ayurtox for Body Detoxification

Cardiofy Heart Care Supplement

ClariMind Memory & Concentration Supplement

Cosmic Joy for Mood Enhancement

Immunice for Immune Support

Joint Mender for Joint Care

Mystic Sleep Supplement for a Good Night's Rest

PMS Lite for PMS Relief

Radiancio - Radiate Beauty from the Inside Out

Rudraksha Healing for Tranquility & Good Health!

Sherpa Strength for Muscle Enhancement

Yogic Slim - 5,000 Year Old Formula for Weight Loss!

Youtharia for Anti-Aging & Longevity

***********

Syndicate Robert's articles
on your site!
Fast, Easy & Free!

***********

MIND POWER STUDIO
Program Your Mind for Success!

***********
Learn EFT Here

***********

Stop Smoking Here

***********

Habit Busting Secrets:
"Learn how to break ANY habit in 21 days (or less) guaranteed!"

***********

How To Conquer Fear.

***********

The Power Of Positive Habits E-Book.

***********

How Much More Could You Get In Your Life.

***********

Burn The Fat Feed The Muscle.

***********

A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO AUTHENTIC POWER

***********

Discover the Fantastic Formula that Brings Wealth, Success and Happiness!

***********

"Self Improvement: The Top 101 Experts That Help Us Improve Our Lives" is the *New Encyclopedia* of self-help.

***********

"Success Factor #1- Create Success

***********

Home Remedies For Better Health.

***********

How To Know Your Higher Self In 7 Steps.

***********

See my Peace Impact