Holistic Harmony Network - free articles and books, psychology, relationships, cassettes, self-help and life clarification process

Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy.
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This is Part 1 of your 17 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Accepting …nd Loving Ouselves".
For much more on this subject we suggest the book "The Psychology of Happiness" which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.htmlMay you enjoy it and benefit from it.
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LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVESOur doubt concerning our self-worth is the main obstacle to our emotional and inter-relational. This doubt is the cause of our greatest fears such as being rejected, laughed at, ignored, unloved, and most of all, of being alone. LONELINESS AND DOUBTLoneliness is the disease of our age, and its cause is self-doubt. Fear of being alone is perhaps our most ancient one. It comes from the fact that in the past, he who was not accepted was ostracized from the group. In those days, that did not mean simply feeling lonely, but also being unable to survive. That safety and survival have become so directly associated with being with others is clearly evident in the illogical phenomena that, an individual who fears being alone in a house at night might feel safer even with the presence of a small infant or even a cat, both of which are totally incapable of protecting him from any danger.
Another factor that makes us fear rejection or not being accepted by others is the fear of being punished by them or by God. We have been brought up to believe in a God, whose love is conditional, depending upon whether we are perfect in His eyes or not. We have learned that God’s love and protection are also conditional, and that punishment results when we displease Him. We have also learned that our self-worth is to be measured by what others think of us and whether they accept and respect us.

CHILDHOOD PROGRAMMING

As children, we learn from adults that we must measure our self-worth by what others think of us, the results of our actions, our appearance, how much money we have, etc. We receive messages from our parents and other important persons throughout our childhood years concerning whether and under what conditions we are good or worthy.
Our doubt of our self-worth then becomes our greatest obstacle to inner peace, harmonious communication and loving relationships. These doubts are the foundation of most of our negative emotions and relationship conflicts.
If we had more self-acceptance, we would have less need to prove ourselves to others, and we would feel offended much less frequently. Then we could to overlook others’ negativity and be at peace with them regardless of their behavior.
Let us now look at how we can increase and stabilize our self-acceptance.
The first step is to discover the situations in which we lose our sense of self-worth or self-acceptance. This can be very clearly seen in our answers to the written affirmations (previous chapter) "I love and accept myself in every situation." In our responses to this affirmation, we can see the basic conditions we place on our self-acceptance. What we discover in the answers to the written affirmations can be summed up into categories listed in this next questionnaire.
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OBSTACLES TO LOVING OURSELVES

In which situations do you lose your sense of self-love, self-worth, self- esteem or self-acceptance? You might feel negative feelings such as alienation (from self and others,) fear, insecurity, negativity, discomfort, aversion, repulsion, anxiety, bitterness, anger, hate, guilt, shame, worry, disillusionment (with self or others), frustration, jealousy, envy or any other unpleasant emotion.
Note some of the feelings you might have in the following situations.

1. When others ask for your help and you do not say "yes", or do not respond.

2. When you have made a mistake or have failed at some effort.

3. When others are more capable than you are at certain tasks or concerning certain qualities (i.e. intelligence, artistic ability, speech, sports, cooking, professional success, their children’s success, economically, making friends, employing disciplines).

4. When others attract more attention, esteem and respect in a group situation.

5. When others have offered more to you than you have offered them.

6. When you are not perfect.

7. When others criticize or reject you.

8. When others do not agree with you.

9. When others are able to manipulate you.

10. When you have "created" pain for others.

11. When you are not in harmony with your conscience.

In each of the above cases
a. How do you feel about yourself?
b. How do you feel toward the others?
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To be continued ...
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Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp for a list of other email courses you can order - most are for free.
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(The advertisements in the beginning of the email support the web site which kindly offers us this free autoresponder service and are unrelated to the author or articles.)
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ebooks available by Robert Elias Najemy
at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
1. Universal Philosophy
2. The Art of Meditation
3. Contemporary Parables
4. The Mystical Circle of Life
5. Relationships of Conscious Love
6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom
7. Total Emotional Freedom – EFT and Self -knowledge
8. Saram – The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche
And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site
9. The Psychology of Happiness
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
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Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies.
He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members.
His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html.
You can download FREE articles and e-books from http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also receive guidance on life issues.
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