Some of those fears are:
1. To be abused
2. To be hurt
3. To be used
4. To be limited
5. To be trapped
6. To fail in the relationship
7. To be very familiar - because the other will lose interest.
8. To not be in control
9. To not be able to be ourselves
10. To become a slave of the other’s needs
11. To become weak
12. To be rejected
13. The responsibilities of a relationship
14. The unknown
15. To be abandoned
16. To lose our freedom
17. To be suppressed

Obviously, if we are affected by such fears, we will develop various defense mechanisms and even behaviors, which will sabotage the relationship we are supposedly seeking to create. When we are defensive we are unpleasant and unloving. A lack of love attracts the same. Love attracts love.
We will need to free ourselves from such fears. The ultimate solution is our own inner fulfillment. If we are not dependent on the other, then we have nothing to lose by opening ourselves up to the other.
When we know that we can be well and happy even alone, then we can be open and loving with the other without fearing that he or she will leave is. If we are not afraid of being alone, then we will not allow the other to control us, we will not lose our freedom, because we will let go of our needs out of love when we believe in that but never out of fear. A self dependent person can be open and loving without any danger of losing freedom, because when he or she feels that it is right, he and she can always say ‘No". People, who cannot say no, cannot open up, because they will be swallowed in the others’ needs, losing all contact with their own.
Interesting enough is the fact, that when we are not afraid to say "no", that we have much less need to say it, because we have nothing to protect by saying "no."
Love without fear, is a matter of inner strength, which for most can be created through an inner spiritual life and a relationship with ourselves and the divine. When we have a good relationship with ourselves and the divine, then we have the same with all.
To be Continued
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at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
1. Universal Philosophy
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5. Relationships of Conscious Love
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http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
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Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies.
He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members.
His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html.
You can download FREE articles and e-books from http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also receive guidance on life issues.
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