Holistic Harmony Network - free articles and books, psychology, relationships, cassettes, self-help and life clarification process

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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy.
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This is Part 1 of your 15 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Learning to Love Others".
For more on this subject we suggest the books "Relationships of Conscious Love" and "The Psychology of Happiness" which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.htmlMay you enjoy it and benefit from it.
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LEARNING TO LOVE OTHERS
We will be able to love others more fully and steadily, when we can free ourselves from our labyrinth of unpleasant emotions and internal conflicts which obstruct our love. Ultimately, this means transcending fear.
We use the word love to describe many forms of attraction, which are actually quite different states of mind. When we say we love someone or something we essentially mean that we feel good when in contact with that being or thing. This is a pleasant state, which allows us to feel security, fulfillment, happiness and inner peace.
Our connection, however, with that being or object can be on various levels. Few of these can be considered true love, but actually love mixed with needs and attachments. Most love as we know it is actually a "bargaining kind of love" in which we love someone as long as they give us what we want or need from them. If they stop giving us what we want or need, or obstruct our satisfaction, we cease loving and are overcome with hurt, bitterness, jealousy and anger - all of which are born from fear.
STAGES OF LOVE
Love is like the gold ore, which is brought up from the earth; it is mixed with other metals (emotions, needs, and fears). Our job is to purify that gold as we seek to love unconditionally in all of our relationships, regardless of the others’ behaviors. Then we will be happy.
The accompanying diagram will help us understand the various levels of love in our lives.
1. On the first level we "love" the other because he or she offers us security. If he or she stops offering us this security or starts offering it to others, we are very likely to feel hurt, angry and jealous. Thus, our love is based on the condition of this specific agreement, that the other will provide us the feeling of security. When we say to this person. "I love you," what we actually mean is, "I need you in order to feel secure, I feel insecure without you."
2. At the second level we "love" the other because he or she provides us with various forms of pleasure, comfort or satisfaction. If he or she stops providing these pleasures to us or offers them to others, then we loose our feelings of "love" and often feel hurt, anger and bitter. When we say to this person, " I love you," what we really mean is, "I love the pleasure you give me."
3. At the third level we "love" the other because he or she, in some way, affirms us, perhaps by obeying us, or needing us, or agreeing with us, or praising us. If this changes, then our feelings change. We need this person in order to feel our power or self worth.
4. At the fourth level we begin for the first time to experience selfless love for a person regardless of how he or she behaves. However, there is still the condition that this is this specific person - usually a child or parent. We love this person, even if he or she doesn’t provide us with security, satisfaction or affirmation. But we do not feel this for all persons.
5. Then at the fifth level we begin to feel universal selfless love in which we love more and more people unconditionally, regardless of how they behave. At this level, we are often motivated to participate in some types of social work serving those in need.
6. At the sixth we experience spiritual love where our love is for the soul which is temporarily expressing itself through the personality. We are not attached to the personality and are not fearful concerning its various changing states, including death, for we realize that the body and personality are not the real being, but simply instruments of expression.
7. At the level of divine love we no longer experience separateness from anyone. We are the consciousness in all beings around us. There is the experience of total unity with all. Jesus Christ was experiencing this Divine love when he said, "I am in you and you are in me. I am in the Father and the Father is in me."In the next parts of this series we will go into more detail about the stages of love as they are presented in the book The Psychology of Happiness.
To be Continued
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Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp for a list of other email courses you can order - most are for free.
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(The advertisements in the beginning of the email support the web site which kindly offers us this free autoresponder service and are unrelated to the author or articles.)
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ebooks available by Robert Elias Najemy
at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp
1. Universal Philosophy
2. The Art of Meditation
3. Contemporary Parables
4. The Mystical Circle of Life
5. Relationships of Conscious Love
6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom
7. Total Emotional Freedom – EFT and Self -knowledge
8. Saram – The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche
And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site
9. The Psychology of Happiness
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html
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Robert Elias Najemy is the author of over 600 articles, 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony and 20 books, which have sold over 100,000 copies.
He is the Founder and director of the Center for Harmonious Living in Greece with 3700 members.
His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html.
You can download FREE articles and e-books from http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also receive guidance on life issues.
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