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Dear Friend,

May this find you well and happy.

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This is Part 3 of your 24 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Learning Life's Lessons".

For more on this subject we suggest the books "Relationships of Conscious Love" and "The Psychology of Happiness" which can be found as pdf ebooks at
http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at
http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html

May you enjoy it and benefit from it.
**********************************

SOME EXAMPLES OF POSSIBLE LESSONS

In relationship to factor 5.c. above concerning possible lessons we have chosen as souls to learn, here are some possibilities.

a. If, as a soul, I need to learn to gain self-confidence, it would be only natural to create a situation in which my personality could not find external support, forcing me to depend upon myself.

b. If I need to learn self-acceptance, then it would be natural for me, as a soul, to create a situation in which I pass through a period of not being accepted by the others, so as to develop an inner base for my self-acceptance.

c. If I have come time overcome a fear, then the obvious way to do this would be to subconsciously create or attract exactly what I fear, so that I may overcome it.

d. If I need to overcome an aspect of my character such as selfishness, what better way to see my selfishness, than to confront it in others.

MIRRORING AND PROJECTING

There is a small difference between mirroring and projecting. When anotherıs behavior "mirrors" something inside us, that means that their is a resonance and that the other is behaving in a way which reflects some of our beliefs, emotions or expectations. There is a silent resonance between us, which causes one to mirror the otherıs aspects.

"Projection" means that we are seeing things in the otherıs behavior, which are not there, at least not to the extent that we see them. We are subjectively interpreting and often magnifying aspects of the otherıs behavior so that we "project" on to his behavior our own beliefs, needs, fears, emotions and expectations, and guilt.

BEHAVIORS WHICH ANNOY US

The following questionnaire can be answered in various ways:

1. In written form.

2. Verbally with someone asking us these questions.

3. Mentally in a state of deep relaxation while someone asks us these questions. Whoever reads these questions should leave at least one minute between each question so that we can receive answers. We receive the answers and do not search for them. The answers may come not only as words in our mind, but also as feelings, physical or energy phenomena such a pains, heat or release etc. or even as images, memories.

This last method usually allows us access to deeper answers.

In all cases, however, we will need to make our discoveries more conscious by writing them.

Before attempting to do this work, we first have to decide which of the otherıs annoying behaviors we want to work with. We will not be analyzing the other but our own selves. We need to realize what the other does or does not do that bothers us and diminishes our peace and happiness and thus the harmony and happiness of our relationship. We have something to learn from this situation. Now we have a chance to discover what that is.

Some possible behaviors which might bother us might be found in this list:

a. When she criticizes me.
b. When he does not respond to my request or needs.
c. When she asks me many questions.
d. When he shouts and accuses.
e. When she plays the role of victim and cries.
f. When she blames me for what has happened.
g. When he ignores me.
h. When he doesnıt listen to me.
i. When he looks at other women.
j. When she is not conscientious about our agreements or responsibilities.
k. When he does not agree with me.
l. When he does not pay attention to me when I talk.
m. When she is late for our appointment.
n. When he doesnıt help out with the cleanliness.
o. When he tell lies.
p. When they ignore my needs.
q. When she gossips.
r. When he does not tell me what he is feeling.
s. When she complains too much.
t. When he thinks he knows it all and does not listen to my point of view.
u. When she gives me advice I have not asked for.
v. When he threatens me that he will leave.
w. When he does not take care of himself or does not do his share.
x. When the other is weak and dependent.
z. other_______________________

There are many other possible behaviors which might bother us, and diminish our peace and love for the other. The analysis we will make below will enable us to be happy regardless of what the other does and thus also free up our love for him or her. I would suggest that you first read through all the questions and the explanations which come after, before you go ahead and answer the questions for yourself.

We have found the most amazing results with this questionnaire. Most of us have discovered that we each contain quite a number of factors that are mirroring in the otherıs behavior. Through this exercise we see very clearly that we ourselves create our reality and that only we can change it.

Let us very briefly explain the reason for each question.

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