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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 1 of your 15 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Forgiving Others and Ourselves". For much more on this subject we suggest the book "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as a pdf ebook at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html Forgiveness FORGIVENESS AND FREEDOM Forgiveness is a basic prerequisite for freeing ourselves from the past and its stranglehold on us. As long as we resist forgiving others and ourselves for mistakes or actions of the past, we are bound to that past. When we do not forgive others, we ourselves suffer from the negative consequences those negative emotions have on our body and mind. The same is true concerning not forgiving our selves. Feelings of resentment, which sometimes lead to disillusionment, anger and even hate, have a very powerful affect on our nervous, endocrine and immune systems. When such feelings also lead to feelings of weakness, helplessness and hopelessness, then our defense system is even more seriously weakened. Scientific studies show that the defense system is frequently weakened after the unexpected loss of someone or something very important to us. That could be a loved one, a job, our appearance, home, social status or anything else which is very important to us and the loss of which we cannot accept. In some of these cases cancer or some other immune weaknesses may develop. Long standing resentment can be transferred into physical terms as arthritic or rheumatic problems. This transferal of specific emotions into physical phenomena is an extremely interesting field that will gain much more attention in coming years as science will be forced to investigate it. Thus when we hold on to resentment, anger or hate we harm ourselves. Those feelings exist in our body; they affect our liver, our kidneys, our heart, our blood vessels, not the otheršs. They inhibit our happiness, not the otheršs. They limit our reality. We are harming ourselves with these feelings. When we feel hurt by some life event, such as the loss of a loved one or something else very important to us, what do we gain by holding on to the past, concentrating with bitterness on the injustice of life? Does life suffer or do we suffer? A natural conclusion to our work on the inner child would be to forgive ourselves and others for all that has happened and move on into the present. FIVE STEPS OF FORGIVENESS Forgiveness, however, should not be superficial or rushed. Many, when they start this work, believe that they have nothing to forgive. We may have forgiven consciously but our subconscious may have stored up feelings of which we have no awareness. We have found that the process of real forgiveness has five stages: 1. We must first get in touch with the feelings of hurt, bitterness, injustice, anger, guilt or shame still present in our inner child. 2. We will then need to express and release those feelings in the various ways mentioned in previous chapters. (Letters, psychodrama, catharsis techniques etc.) 3. When we have discharged the energy associated with these emotions (which might take from a few days to a few years), then we are ready to move on to the stage of understanding. Understanding has two aspects. a. We need to understand that the others live in ignorance of their real divine nature and that their actions and behaviors are based on fear and insecurity and their need for self-affirmation. b. We also need to understand that we exist and are evolving in a universe with divine laws, that allow to happen to us only what is perfect for our spiritual growth process. Thus no one could ever have done anything to us, which was not part of a just and wise system designed for our growth. In the same way, we could not have ever done anything to anyone that was not actually what he or she needed for his or her growth process. This truth does not prevent us from expecting and asking people to behave towards us with respect. Nor does it absolve us from the basic moral code of doing to others only what we would like them to do to us. It does mean, however, that we can forgive the others and ourselves for the ignorance of our past, from which we are now seeking to free ourselves. 4. Having understood, then we are ready to forgive others and ourselves. 5. The last stage is to feel love for that person and wish for his or her best possible growth. The messages for the inner child listed in the chapter on the inner child are basic spiritual truths which can help in this understanding process. To be continued ... ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being.
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