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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 12 of your 18 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Understanding and Managing Emotions". For much more on this subject we suggest the book "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** LONELINESS Loneliness, like fear, is a deeply ingrained emotion that has to do with existence itself. Both emotions are based on the illusion of our separateness and identification with the body and ego. For those of us who have not yet become aware of an inner source of security, satisfaction, self worth, love and purpose, facing loneliness is similar to facing death. Without a relationship with ourselves or with the divine, there is no life, no source, no happiness, no security, no purpose for living without others. We must distinguish between being alone and feeling lonely. One can be surrounded by hundreds of friends, family and admirers and still feel lonely. Another can be alone on a mountaintop for years and never feel lonely. Feeling lonely means not feeling connected to others, to God, to nature or to life. We may be surrounded day and night by persons to whom we feel no connection, or be alone in a cave and feel connected to God and all of creation. When analyzing the causes of loneliness, we should look specifically for feelings of shame and pride. These opposite emotions tend to separate us. When we feel shame, guilt or self-doubt, we cannot believe that others love us or want to be with us. Even when they do love us, we cannot feel their love. When we are proud, we cannot keep company with" just anyone," nor can we be the ones who will express our need to be with others. We are too proud and want the others to ask us for our company. Also susceptible to such thinking and loneliness are those of us who have been programmed to believe that we must be perfect, strong and never ask for or be in need. Positive antidotes to loneliness could be: 1. Taking an active interest in othersą needs or making an effort to serve others 2. Opening to others with love. 3. Ceasing the comparisons of ourselves with others. 4. Developing a relationship with God. 5. Finding a meaning in life. Understanding Loneliness This is a part of a series of articles with questions, which will help us understand our emotions and how we can free ourselves from unwanted ones. The following questions may help us understand and overcome our loneliness. 1. "When do you feel most lonely?" "At what times of day or week and in which situations?" 2. " What do you believe that you need at those moments in order to feel more connected with the others or the world around you?" 3. "Is there something which prevents you from contacting other people when you feel lonely?" a. Do you feel too proud to contact someone? b. Are you afraid that there will not be the response you want? c. Or are you afraid of anything else, which prevents you from contacting other people, when you are feeling lonely?" 4. "What do you believe which makes you feel lonely?" 5. " What do you believe which makes being alone unacceptable or painful?" 6. " Do you believe in God?" " If yes, how could you feel His/Her/Its presence more tangibly in your life, especially when you are feeling lonely?" 7. "There are also many other people who feel lonely, such as the elderly, orphans, the ill, blind, deaf, paralyzed etc. people who may need help. How would you feel about helping these people with their loneliness?" If not, why not?" If yes, where and when would you like to begin?" 8. "Which beliefs do you need to change here in order to be able to accept being alone?" "How will you change these beliefs?" 9. "Which beliefs do you need to change in order to feel more connected to others and/or God and life?" "How will you change these beliefs?" 10. "Which beliefs do you need to change in order to feel freer to express your needs for greater or deeper contact with others?" "How will you change these beliefs?" 11. "With which persons would you like to begin this expression and what would you like to say?" This is a part of a series of articles with questions, which will help us understand our emotions and how we can free ourselves from unwanted ones. Now you may like to describe how you would like to think, feel and respond in future situations. You may find it more powerful to write your description in the present tense as if it is already a reality. For more on dealing with emotions you might want to check out these sources: http://www.holisticharmony.com/eft/index.asp http://www.holisticharmony.com/ezines/index.asp http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/research/emotions.html http://www.emofree.com ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willădefinetly want to get the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |