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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 9 of your 18 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Understanding and Managing Emotions". For much more on this subject we suggest the book "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** Disappointment - Disillusionment - Discouragement Robert Elias Najemy A wise teacher once said, " No appointments, no disappointments." We experience these somewhat similar emotions when we have created expectations concerning what we will receive from others, God, life or even from ourselves. We might also feel such emotions concerning our own abilities or efforts when we are unable to achieve the goals we desire. We feel this way when things do not happen the way we expected, or more often, when others are not who we expected them to be. We develop expectations, and then feel cheated when we they are not fulfilled. Also, when we do not achieve the results we desire, we feel disappointed and disillusioned in ourselves, others or God. When we succumb to such feelings, we often give up making any further effort, which in turn obstructs our growth. Positive alternatives to disappointment and disillusionment could be: 7. Understand that we are all in a process of evolution and that no one is perfect. It is unreasonable to expect of demand perfection from ourselves or others. We would not be here in this evolutionary process if we did not have much to improve. 8. Faith in the flow of life. There is a wisdom greater than ours. We usually want to get our desired results immediately if not "yesterday". We need to learn that change, manifestation and creation are usually slow organic processes like a plant growing. There are, however, moments of quantum leaps. 9. Confidence that with patience, practice and perseverance, we can manifest the changes we seek. We can develop greater trust in our ability to manifest our goals and life purpose with or without the help of specific person. 4. Greater self-sufficiency will allow us to need less from the other and thus not be so dependent on them, expecting so much from them. When we feel secure, worthy and fulfilled within our selves we need much less from others and experience disappointment less frequently. 5. A larger sense of time, in which we realize that, any efforts made for less than fifty years, are actually small in relationship to the immensity of our being. It is important that we do not allow such feelings of disappointment to diminish our efforts towards creating a better life for ourselves, our loved ones, society and the world as whole. Understand and accept the present limitations of your universe as you use them as a stepping stone to move out of and beyond them. (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) Understanding Disappointment, Disillusionment and Discouragement A wise teacher once said, " no appointments - no disappointments". This is a part of a series of articles with questions, which will help us understand our emotions and how we can free ourselves from unwanted ones. The questions that interest us here are: 1. "What were you expecting here (from yourself, the other person, from life , from God)?" 2. "Why are you expecting that? Do you feel that you need it? Why exactly do you need yourself, others, life, or God to be that way? " 3. "What do you lose, if things are not as you expected.?" 4. "What will happen if you yourself do not live up to your expectations?" 5. "Whose expectations are these? Do they remind you of anything you heard as a child?" 6. " Can you think of a way to internally create what you need even when you or others cannot be what you expected?" 7. "Can you accept that you, others and all of creation are in a process of evolution, and thus, while it is useful to have the image of how you want us all to be, that it is also useful to have patience concerning the gradual manifestation of those ideals?" 8. Which beliefs do you need to change in order to feel safe and or worthy when you and/or others cannot live up to your expectations? 9. "Which beliefs do you need to change, and/or actions do you need to take, so as to more actively insure that you and / or others are more dedicated to fulfilling you expectations?" 10. "Have you clearly communicated to the others what you expect of them and why you need that from them and how you feel when they do not give this to you?" 11. What would you like to communicate to those with whom you feel disappointed? Now you may like to describe how you would like to think, feel and respond in future situations. You may find it more powerful to write your description in the present tense as if it is already a reality. For more on dealing with emotions you might want to check out these sources: http://www.holisticharmony.com/eft/index.asp http://www.holisticharmony.com/ezines/index.asp http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/research/emotions.html http://www.emofree.com ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willădefinetly want to get the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |