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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 3 of your 18 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Understanding and Managing Emotions". For much more on this subject we suggest the book "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp and also in your booksores, at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** AN OUTLINE FOR MANAGING EMOTIONS WHAT ARE EMOTIONS? We hear much talk about expressing our emotions, "letting it all out," "getting things off our chest." What exactly are emotions? For the purpose of this discussion, we will be speaking about negative or unpleasant emotions such as fear, jealousy, anger, hatred, envy, bitterness, resentment, greed, etc. Positive emotions are essential for our relationships and inspirations, and will be discussed elsewhere. One way of looking at negative or unpleasant emotions is to see them as thoughts that have been energetically charged primarily because we sense danger. Regardless as to whether we feel a sense of injustice, anger, hatred, jealousy, guilt or fear, we are feeling some degree of danger, some threat to our security, self worth, freedom or pleasure. These emotions, or energized thoughts, then create physical, energy and psychological disturbances that can eventually lead to psychosomatic illness. They can also considerably deplete our vitality and immune system, and leave us exhausted on many levels of our being. Negative emotions can also develop into a vicious circle of negativity. For example, we observe that we are feeling fear or anger and then feel guilt, self-rejection or frustration simply because we experienced those original emotions. We have emotions about the fact that we have emotions, thus we create even more fear and anger. Such emotional states can distort our perception, cause us to make flawed decisions and perhaps even act against our true nature. They cause us to feel alienated from those who are, for us, the "cause" of our pain. We use the words negative and positive to describe emotions out of convention. What we really mean by "negative" is separating or alienating. Separating emotions are those that cause us to feel alienated from and closed towards others. Positive emotions are those that increase our feelings of unity, love and oneness with others. We can create a positive energy flow by experiencing and expressing our gratitude, good wishes, admiration and love. We can also have emotions that alienate us from our own selves, such as guilt, shame and self-rejection. Alienating emotions are based on identification with the ego. They inhibit our health, peace, happiness and spiritual development. Unifying emotions generate health, peace, harmony, mutual love and acceptance, as well as spiritual growth. DISCHARGING OUR NEGATIVITY ONTO OTHERS Emotions are often expressed as uncontrolled words or actions. In such cases, we simply throw our emotional energy onto others by accusing, intimidating, blaming and generally bombarding them with this negatively charged energy. For those who can do nothing else (for there are other alternatives), this is perhaps a preferable solution to suppressing feelings. There are, however, some disadvantages: 1. We lose energy, which we could have used for other, more creative or growth oriented processes. 2. This energy which is generally directed at others, in their presence or absence, affects them, becomes recorded in their emotional body, leaving them now to deal with it. This is true whether or not the negativity is actually verbally expressed. Let me give an example of this. One day, I was visiting a friend who had a cat that was genetically related to the cat that belonged to my sister-in-law, with whom I was staying. My friend's cat was dying of pneumonia and I had to hold the cat while it was given an injection. While holding it, I felt a great deal of the catąs negative energy flow into my hands. Then, when I returned home, as I walked through the door, my sister-in-law's cat sensed the energy and began howling and running around the house, often banging its head into the wall. The reason for this became obvious to me and I explained it to my sister-in-law. She understood, but confessed that the cat's actions were making her nervous. This negativity had traveled from one cat to me, to another cat, to my sister-in-law. We can observe how negative emotions are transferred from one person to another, like a giant telephone network. The sales clerk receives negativity from one customer and passes it on to next. Most who come into contact with the public do the same. They receive from one and pass on to the next. Eventually, we spread these "emotional viruses" to our family and friends. Peace and happiness are rare in such an environment. The negative energy, which we discharge to others, causes them to develop negative feelings towards us and this burdens and can even destroy our relationships. Why do we allow this to happen? Because we have not learned to understand and deal effectively with our emotional nature. We are not interested here in suppressing our emotions, but rather in observing, analyzing, understanding, accepting and transforming them, usually in this order. 3. When we discharge onto others our emotional energies, we do not get a chance to learn and grow through those experiences, which are, in fact, opportunities through which we can develop inner strength and greater self-knowledge. When we blame others for our unhappiness, we lose opportunities for self-discovery. Every present moment offers an opportunity to move forward toward our divine destiny. Mastering our emotional energy is one giant step in that direction. ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willădefinetly want to get the book The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. 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