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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 1 of your 12 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Dealing with the Departure of Loved Ones ". These segments are from the book ""Mystical Circle of Life"" which has an abundance of useful information on death and dying and which we suggest you order as an ebook (pdf file) at http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. This information is also explained in the book "The Psychology of Happiness" which can be found in your booksores at Amazon.com or for 40% discount at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** COPING WITH THE DEPARTURE OF LOVED ONES Without a doubt, the most painful experience in life is to lose a loved one. The worst for most people is to lose a child, then a spouse and then other loved ones. Over the years I have had the fortune to conduct seminars on death and immortality and groups for those who have recently lost loved ones. I am very grateful to all those who attended and taught me by sharing their emotions, experiences and insights through the various stages of coping with this extremely painful and often totally overwhelming event. I would like to share with you here some of what I learned about coping with the death of loved ones through out these years. EMOTIONS FREQUENTLY EXPERIENCED Before continuing to discuss these emotions, I would like to clearly state that I respect the depth and strength with which they can flood our being. When I point out other ways of looking at what is happening, it is not because I do not respect the way in which we are presently perceiving it. Nor do I believe that it is easy to change perspective. I simply know that it will happen slowly any way, and would like to help that change take place sooner, so that we all move closer to the truth and thus to happiness. 1. Pain of loss. Losing a loved one is like losing a part of our body. It hurts. We feel that a part of our own selves is missing. It is simply inconceivable to us that this being simply does not exist any more - as a body. We expect from moment to moment to hear him or her come through the door. No one can diminish the intensity of this pain, of this suffering. What can we do? Nothing! At first, there is nothing that we can do but just experience it. And this is exactly what we can do - experience and express it. The more we allow our selves to express this pain, the more quickly it will exhaust itself. We hurt. This is the truth. Nothing can change this, except for a deep awareness of the truth of life. But if we do already not have it at this moment, it will be difficult for us to simply wear it now like a piece of clothing. So we are left with nothing to do but experience and express our pain. Find someone who is trained in listening and facilitating your emotional expression and externalization. Meet with him or her once a week and get help in acknowledging all your feelings. You may discover other feelings which you have not yet understood, such as fear, anger, guilt, jealousy, bitterness, hurt etc. As we discuss each of the feelings which one might after losing a loved one, remember this one point which is common to coping with each of the: accept them. Accept that they exist. Find a person who you trust to share them with. Express them with words verbally, in written form, with movement, with your crying, with any sounds which express them . Do not hold back your tears or your pain. In this way this storm of emotions will pass much more quickly and you will be ready to accept what has happened and get on with your life. In each case there will be specific spiritual and emotional lessons or opportunities for you to learn. You cannot learn these until you first discharge your emotions, your pain, your hurt, and your anger. Then your loss becomes your gain. Your pain becomes the triggering process which opens the door towards your self-fulfillment. You then are ready to learn the truth about life and your self. The truth which relieves all pain, all fear. Christąs Truth which «sets us free». 2. Fear that we will not be able to continue living without the person. This applies especially to widows, who have been programmed that they are weak, and need a husband in order to be safe, secure or socially accepted. It also applies to all situations in which we feel that we need that other person emotionally, physically, socially, mentally, economically or in any other way. The truth is that losing a loved one is an excellent spiritual opportunity to find this sense of strength, security, worthiness and self respect from within and from our relationship with God. It make take some time to overcome the fear. It will gradually subside and we will be much stronger because of this loss. Each loss of external support is an opportunity to find inner strength. ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willădefinetly want to get the book Mystical Circle of Life by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |