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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 8 of your 15 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Codependency and Cocommitment". These from the "Relationships of Conscious Love" which we suggest you order as an ebook (pdf file) at http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. May you enjoy and benefit from it. ********************************** Having understood the beliefs which create codependency, the next step is to determine where exactly we are expecting others to create our happiness, success, satisfaction or where we are dependent on others for our feelings of self-worth, or in other words, which of our keys we have given to whom. Then we need to discover for which people we feel responsible and thus are holding on to the keys to their happiness, success, safety or satisfaction. This we want to do in order to return the keys which do not belong to us and take back the keys which belong us. Filling out the next exercise will help us to prepare for putting order to our keys of responsibility. __________________________________ LOOKING AT OUR KEYS 1. I feel responsible for the following in relationship to the following persons: Name of person Health Safety Happiness Success Satisfaction Self-worth ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Perhaps it would be useful here to give some examples of possible answers: a. I feel responsible for my children¹s health, safety and success in life. b. I also feel responsible for their happiness and satisfaction. c. I also feel responsible for their behavior towards others. d. I feel responsible for my spouse¹s happiness and satisfaction. e. I feel responsible for my parents¹ health, happiness and satisfaction. f. I feel responsible for my boss¹s satisfaction with my work. g. I feel responsible for my friends¹ being satisfied with me as a friend. h. I feel responsible for my siblings¹ being satisfied with me, and also for their health, happiness and security. Programmed in this way with the above feelings of responsibility, I cannot feel happy or my self-worth unless: a. My children are healthy, safe, successful, happy, satisfied and are behaving properly towards others. b. My spouse is happy and satisfied (especially satisfied with me as a spouse). c. My parents are healthy, happy and satisfied (especially with me as their child). d. My boss and friends are satisfied with me. e. My siblings are satisfied with me and are safe and happy. 2 I expect help from the following persons in fulfilling the following needs. Name Self-worth Health Safety Happiness Success Satisfaction ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Some possible answers might be: a. I expect help from my children to fulfill my needs for order and cleanliness - satisfaction. b. I expect help from my spouse for my safety, happiness, success and satisfaction. c. I expect help from my parents for safety, happiness, success and satisfaction. d. I expect help from my friends for my happiness, and occasionally for my satisfaction. e. I expect help from my siblings for my happiness, and occasionally for my safety. 3. I can see that I am dependent on, or am affected by, the following persons to some degree concerning the following feelings. Name Self-worth Health Safety Happiness Success Satisfaction ______________________________________________________________________ Some possible answer might a. I am dependent on or am affected by my children concerning my self-worth as a parent and person. b. I am dependent on or am affected by my spouse concerning my self-worth as a spouse and person and also for my feelings of safety. c. I am dependent on or am affected by my parents concerning my self-worth as a child and person and also for my feelings of safety, success and happiness. d. I am dependent on or am affected by my friends concerning my self-worth as a friend and person. e. I am dependent on or am affected by my siblings concerning my self-worth as a sibling as a person and sometimes for my feelings of safety. __________________________________ Now take time to answer the above 3 questions for yourself, without being limited by the sample answers above. As we an see, in such a situation peace and happiness will almost nonexistent, as there are just too many factors which must be "okay" in order for us to be happy. We are in total codependency and we cannot create happiness unless all people around us are exactly as we need them to be. All of us are intertwined in a mesh of confusion, which obstructs our happiness. Continued ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willćdefinetly want to get the book Relationships of Conscious Love by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |