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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 5 of your 15 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Codependency and Cocommitment". These from the "Relationships of Conscious Love" which we suggest you order as an ebook (pdf file) at http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. May you enjoy and benefit from it. ********************************** MARIA AND JOHN For example, Maria and John love and respect each other but are plagued with frequent arguments and clashes in which each departs feeling hurt and abused. John feels that Maria does not accept him and is always telling him what to do or questioning what he has done. He perceives her as his interrogator. When John feels that Maria is doubting his ability or his judgment, he interprets that she is doubting his self-worth, something his mother did continuously by telling him he would never accomplish anything in his life. He then protects himself by shouting angrily so as to intimidate her. Maria fears his behavior, as this is exactly what her father did when she was a child. She backs off and closes into herself for days feeling misunderstood, hurt and abused. She now feels that she is the victim. John also closes up feeling hurt and unappreciated for all that he does for the family. He cannot accept having his every action and decision doubted. Feeling injustice, he becomes aloof and avoids communication for a few days at least. This goes on and on, because Maria has not yet worked out her fear of her father and John his rejection from his mother. Their freedom lies in working with their inner child. This process is discussed in the book the Psychology of Happiness and on our web site www.HolisticHarmony.com. OLGA AND GEORGE Olga and George also love and respect each other very much. Olga however is very much annoyed by Georgešs smoking. The smoke bothers her physically, but she is emotionally hurt because he continues even thought she has explained that it bothers her. She is hurt more by Georgešs ignoring her request than by the smoke itself. She thinks, "if he loved me, he would comply with my request". This is reenactment of her childhood years in which she learned that her needs as a child and as a woman were "not important" and that others would not pay attention to them. She became programmed to believe that as a woman she was simply there to serve and sacrifice. George loves and admires his wife. He, however, feels that as the man of the house, he cannot be running out to the balcony every time he wants to smoke. This is his home which he has created with his hard work. He doesnšt want to bother his wife with his smoke, but he cannot accept being limited in this way. He feels that his self-image as a man is being intimidated by her request. This too is reflection of his childhood in which his parents limited his freedom of expression. He now wants to be free to do as he likes. Olga now wants to be able to express her needs and have them respected. Each will have to work on transforming those childhood experiences. In addition they would do well to employ techniques for solving problems where there needs conflict in the chapter on that subject. Continued ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willãdefinetly want to get the book Relationships of Conscious Love by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |