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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 3 of your 15 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Codependency and Cocommitment". These from the "Relationships of Conscious Love" which we suggest you order as an ebook (pdf file) at http:HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp. May you enjoy and benefit from it. ********************************** PERSONAL SPACE AND TIME Our movement towards co-commitment means overcoming the fear of being apart. This does not mean separating, but rather being able to feel comfortable when the other may need his or her "space" or personal time in which he or she can do things without us. One of us might want to walk alone, or listen to music, or pray, or attend a lecture, or a series of classes, go out with old friends or spend the evening out with old class mates. There are times in which we might not want to do anything special, but would simply like to be alone. We need this occasionally in order to relax more deeply and renew our energy body. When we are with others, we frequently feel the need to be in a state of alertness. Perhaps we feel the need to communicate with them, or serve them in some way. Many of us cannot be our selves in front of others. Thus, most of us need some time alone, where we can simply be ourselves. Unfortunately many relationship partners do not feel comfortable to take this time for themselves or give it to the other. Some reasons for this are: a. We feel abandoned by the other or fear the other will feel abandoned by us. b. We are afraid the other cannot take care of himself, or we have not learned to care for our selves. c. We think, "If the other really loved me, he or she would always want to be with me. He or she would always prefer me to his or her friends. Couples must be always together." d. In some countries such as the Mediterranean and Arab countries, it is inconceivable to some men that their wives could possibly leave the house and have interests other than the family. Thus, these men feel hurt and even demeaned by the fact that their wives might enjoy a series of lectures or a small excursion only with the ladies. They might fear losing control, something that is important to their sense of security and male self-image. e. Some of us are not able to entertain ourselves while alone. We have no interests with which to occupy ourselves. All our energy is locked into others and when they are not there, we do not know what to do, how to pass the time. We have not learned to be by ourselves or occupy our selves. This is why many people, when they are alone for some period of time, immediately get on the telephone or turn on the TV. Working from codependence to co-commitment means facing these fears and being able to be happy and fulfilled even without our loved one at least for short periods of time. Continued ************************************ If you like what you are reading, you willădefinetly want to get the book Relationships of Conscious Love by Robert Elias Najemy, which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being. | |