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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 11 of your 16 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Communicating with Children". For much more on this subject we suggest the books "Relationships of Conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** EMOTIONS ARE THE RESULT OF OUR INTERPRETATIONS OF REALITY Our emotions are not so much the function of what others do or what happens in the world. How we feel is a function of how we interpret the world and events around us. Each person, observing the same event, will feel differently depending on his or her childhood programming, expectations, attachments and fears. No two people will feel exactly the same while observing the same event, or receiving the same stimulus. What does this have to do with communication? Everything. We communicate what we feel. This is true even when we try to suppress or hide our feelings. They are transmitted like radar to those around us without words or expression. We often fail to express what we really feel. We might express anger and rejection to our children (or others) when in reality we are feeling fear or self-doubt. This is not truthful communication. Usually our first emotion is self-doubt, disappointment or fear, and then we feel anger. But we express only the anger. We hold the others responsible for our unhappiness. We use phrases like "bad boy", "bad girl", "you are lazy", "you are stupid", "you will not do anything in your life", "you will be the death of me", "you are driving me crazy". "you are making me ill.". These messages, although not really meant, are taken very seriously by children and are programmed into their subconscious mind. They then begin to make those words come true. Or they may spend their whole life trying to prove that they are not true. No matter how much they may prove it, however, they may never succeed in believing that they is okay because they are programmed deep inside to doubt their worth. Such messages are called "you-messages" and are based on the false idea that the other is responsible for how we feel. Our programming and expectations are responsible for how we feel. We create our inner reality with how we interpret the events around us. "You-messages" are destructive to our childrenšs self-image and close the door to open communication. We may succeed in making our children behave in this way but we will lose our loving contact and cause them to have serious problems. A more effective method of communication is called the "I-message". ******************************** From the book "RELATIONSHIPS OF CONSCIOUS LOVE" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being.
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