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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy. ********************************* This is Part 10 of your 16 segment weekly email course which you requested on "Communicating with Children". For much more on this subject we suggest the books "Relationships of Conscious Love" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as pdf ebooks at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp May you enjoy it and benefit from it. ********************************** HOW WE TEND TO COMMUNICATE NOW Let us briefly mention how most people communicate now. There are two basic categories; those who suppress themselves and do not communicate; and those who suppress the others by raising their voices, blaming and criticizing the others, ordering them around in various ways. The first group of self-suppressors eventually develops various physical and psychological problems, through the suppression of their needs, emotions and beliefs. The second group may manage to get what they want from the others, but they also cause the others to develop feelings of resentment towards them. Neither of these methods of communication is effective. What then is the alternative? There is a third possibility in which we communicate the truth and do not suppress our feelings, beliefs or needs. But we express ourselves without demeaning or blaming the other in anyway. We maintain respect for ourselves and for the other. We neither speak up to nor down towards the other, but rather directly and openly, as two mature adults, who are taking responsibility for their lives and their realities. This is absolutely essential in our communication with children. Blaming children for our unhappiness seriously undermines their self-image, self-confidence, self-worth and self-love. SELF-ANALYSIS Effective communication is not possible without a clear understanding of what we are feeling. Behind every feeling or emotion there lies a belief conscious or subconscious (usually the latter) which is causing us to have that emotion. That belief could be called a "programming". What we feel is a result of what we believe about what is happening. What we believe is dependent on our childhood experiences, and conclusions. These affect how we feel in certain situations, and thus they affect how we act towards our children and others. We need to be able to understand what we are feeling, and why we are feeling that way, so that we can communicate the truth to the child. This is effective communication - the truth. Most often we do not communicate the truth. We do not want to lie, but we simply have not yet discovered the truth. We have not yet analyzed ourselves to discover why we are feeling the way we are. We have not analyzed our programmings and beliefs to see whether they are logical or simply learned thoughts, patterns, habits and fears which we have been programmed into us and which are causing us to mechanically transfer our beliefs, prejudices, fears, and expectations onto our children. There can be no evolution in this way. And where there is no evolution eventually there is revolution. When we fail to continue to grow, then we obviously come into conflict with the forces of change and evolution which are working through our children. The result is conflict between us. We are not suggesting that we adopt our childrenšs beliefs or ways, but rather that we simply do some self-analysis to examine our programmings, needs, motives, expectations and fears to see if they are valid, fair and practical. ******************************** From the book "RELATIONSHIPS OF CONSCIOUS LOVE" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being.
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