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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy ********************************* This is Part 6 of your 12 segment weekly email course which you requested on The "CELESTINE PROPHECY" and Roles We & Others Play from the book "Relationships of Conscious Love"by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as a pdf ebook at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp May you enjoy and benefit from it. ********************************** C. Sample analysis for coping with Victims: 1. What role or behavior annoys you on the part of the other? When she complains, moans and wears a "long face" implying that I am to blame for her unhappiness. 2. How do you usually react? a. At first? At first I try to help out and satisfy her and then I get angry. I become the intimidator. b. And afterwards? I then feel helpless to change the situation and then feel angry that she is doing nothing to make her life happier. I feel now that I am her victim. I also feel guilty. 3. Do you almost always react in the same way, or do you sometimes react differently? What is the cause for these different ways of reacting? In some few occasions I have been able to let her take responsibility for her reality and just listen without getting involved. 4. What emotions do you have which cause you to react in those ways? Responsible for the other, fear of not having succeeded in helping the other, fear that the other may suffer some harm and I will be responsible, failure to be able to help, helplessness, injustice, hurt, bitterness, rejected and also guilt. 5. What do you believe which causes you to feel that way and react in those ways? Some of my subconscious beliefs seem to be: a. I am responsible for the otheršs reality. b. I am worthy if the other is satisfied with me and with what I offer her. c. I am to blame when the others are not happy or satisfied. d. I must have her approval and recognition for what I have done and am doing for her. e. The other is weak and needs my help. f. I am the savior. I know better and can help others. g. The more people I save, the worthier I am. h. I am being done injustice to, as I have offered so much and the other is still not satisfied. i. The other is using me. I am the victim of the victim. 6. How would you like to react? What would be your ideal reaction? I would like to keep clear in my mind that I cannot create the otheršs health, happiness, success or satisfaction. I want also to remember that the other is an expression of the divine who has all the powers to manifest what she has incarnated to create in her life. I want to remember that she needs my love and attention, and will give it freely whenever she is not in the role of the victim. When she does get into the role of victim I will explain that I love and care for her and want her to be happy, but that that I cannot create that. I am willing to help her if she wants to take responsibility and work towards her happiness. I can ask her questions that might help her realize what she needs to do to create her happiness. I can also ask questions, which may help her see how blessed she already is, and also what powers lie within her that she can use to create the reality she desires. Throughout this process I will remain very clear that I am not responsible for what she is feeling. If she accuses me of not doing enough, I will check with my conscience and if I decided that she is right, I will start doing more. If I judge that she is wrong, then I will peacefully tell her so and explain that I am not going to do more and if she wants to discuss finding other solutions, I will be happy to. I will also explain that I will no longer feel guilty about her unhappiness and as I am clear about doing whatever I can, and that playing the victim will not help her get more from me. 7. What would you have to believe in order to be able to react in your ideal way? a. That we each create our reality. b. That I cannot create anyone elsešs reality. c. That I am not to blame for what others are experiencing in their evolutionary process. d. That others are not to blame for what I am feeling or creating. e. That I can love someone without being sad that they are not happy, since each of us has what we need to be happy- if we could only see it. f. It is okay to be well and happy when our loved ones are not. g. I love, serve and help my love ones create the reality they want, without getting into the role of the savior or responsible for the others. h. No one can use me, if I chose to give. What I give freely cannot be taken from me since I am giving it. i. If I am feeling used, then I am not giving from my heart but I am seeking something in return. j. There are times when the greatest help we can offer is to allow the other to stand on his own two feet. k. The others will continue to love me even if I cannot at times respond to their requests. l. Life gives me exactly what I need at every moment so that I can learn my next lesson in my growth process. 8. What changes do you want to make in your belief system so that you can react in your ideal way and be true to your ideals even when the other reacts in that way? I want to free myself from all the beliefs listed in question 5 and strengthen all the beliefs in question 7. To be Continued ******************************** From the book "RELATIONSHIPS OF CONSCIOUS LOVE" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being.
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