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Dear Friend,
May this find you well and happy ********************************* This is Part 5 of your 12 segment weekly email course which you requested on The "CELESTINE PROPHECY" and Roles We & Others Play from the book "Relationships of Conscious Love"by Robert Elias Najemy which can be found as a pdf ebook at http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp May you enjoy and benefit from it. ********************************** B. Sample analysis for coping with Interrogators: 1. What role or behavior annoys you on the part of the other? When she criticizes what I have done, or doubts what I have done making me answer a series of questions . 2. How do you usually react? a. At first? I get caught up trying to get her approval and then get angry and start shouting. I become the interrogator in return and start criticizing her. b. And afterwards? I then feel guilty for shouting and hope that she is not hurt. I keep my distance playing aloof for a period of time. 3. Do you almost always react in the same way, or do you sometimes react differently? What is the cause for these different ways of reacting? Most of time I react in this way. Some times I become the intimidator. 4. What emotions do you have which cause you to react in those ways? Rejection, fear of making a mistake or being wrong, self-doubt, frustration, anger, injustice 5. What do you believe which causes you to feel that way and react in those ways? Some of my subconscious beliefs are: a. I am not worthy unless others believe so. b. My self-worth is dependent on what others think of me. c. My self-worth is dependent on whether I make the right decisions and actions d. Others know better than I do. e. I am not capable. Not sure of my self. f. I may make a mistake and then others will reject me. g. I need to prove to the others that I am worthy and right. h. It is important not to make mistakes and to be always right. i. I must have everyone one¹s approval. 6. How would you like to react? What would be your ideal reaction? I would like to remember that my self-worth is not dependent on what she thinks. I want to also remember that she most likely acts like this, criticizing and trying to put me down, because she herself doubts her own self-worth. She needs affirmation and is seeking it by searching for my mistakes or getting me to pay attention to her and answer her questions. She probably simply needs attention. I would like then to explain to her, that I respect her and her opinions but that I prefer not to get into this game in which she keeps doubting or criticizing and I am trying to prove that I am right. I may not be always right; I do make mistakes as I am not perfect, and I will think about what she has said and get back to her on the matter if it is important. But I will not continue this game with her. We can have totally different beliefs about some matters and still love each other unconditionally. Thus, I chose to love her without needing her approval or agreement on some matters and hope that she can do the same. I will also explain that if she needs my attention or wants to communicate about something, then she can simply express that need, without getting into this criticism trip. 7. What would you have to believe in order to be able to react in your ideal way? a. That my self-worth is independent of what others think. b. That my self-worth is also independent of the results of my efforts. c. That the other doubts herself and is simply trying to increase her self-esteem through my attention. d. She deserves my attention in positive ways so that she does not need to resort to this way. e. We can love each other even when we do not agree. f. She can love me even when I do not prove that I am right. g. I am in no danger when the others do not agree with me. h. I am in no danger when I make a mistake. i. I am not perfect and I make mistakes and I can admit it without losing my self-worth and others¹ love. j. Being right does not attract love, but love does. k. Life gives me exactly what I need at every moment so that I can learn my next lesson in my growth process. 8. What changes do you want to make in your belief system so that you can react in your ideal way and be true to your ideals even when the other reacts in that way? I want to free myself from all the beliefs listed in question 5 and strengthen all the beliefs in question 7. To be Continued ******************************** From the book "RELATIONSHIPS OF CONSCIOUS LOVE" by Robert Elias Najemy which can be downloaded as an ebook pdf file or ordered from http://HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp ******************************** B> ********* Membership is free and you can access 600 articles, chapters and ebooks for free.Become a Member********* Our Free ezine Claritygreater health, happiness and harmonious relationships. Click to subscribe/unsubscribe to Clarity E-zine May you be well on all levels of your being.
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