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Dear Friends, May this find you well. Some of you have expressed an interest in joining our Life Coach Training which will be starting in October 2003 when we will send you your first lesson. We are pacing a few more testimonials here so that you can get an idea of the course. More will be explained in the next two issues. We have trainees from all over the world including the USA, Australia, England, India, Croatia, Cyprus, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Sweden and Greece. This has been wonderfully satisfying experience for those who have participated and one in which all learn much about ourselves as well as how to effectively help others. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Testimonials About our Life Coach Training * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Robert, I would just like you to know that this course has truly been a life-changing event for me. In working through the lessons I have learned so much about myself, and others. The way I view things, how my beliefs were created and so much more. I truly do not believe I would have learned this much or been able to work through so much without the benefit of these lessons. I feel more peace than I have felt in years and it continues to get better. The way I relate to the whole world has been improved. Learning how to pass this gift to others who may need it is a great blessing that I don't have sufficient words to express. Your patience and your support is wonderful. As busy as you are with your work, the other students in this course and everything else you have going on, I have still felt as if I alone have truly mattered. Any courses I have ever taken, any professional I have worked one on one with, has never seemed to care or take the personal interest as you have. The comments, suggestions, and questions of this class have been at your highest priority and it shows in every new lesson throughout this course. Thank you. Thank God for you and the work that you do. Best Regards, Tracy Togliatti (USA) Robert Najemy's Life Coach training, has helped me to put greater order in my thinking, my emotions and realize how much my beliefs are affecting the way I feel and act in life. His training is exceptionally well structured, it takes you from A. to B. without leaving anything unclear or unexplained. Each lesson provides an opportunity to deepen up the theory and is always accompanied with a chance to put it into practice. I felt throughout the training, that Robert was there for me to provide the help that I needed at times. His advice is always very supportive and fostering to my self-confidence. Thanks again, with my love, Marina. (Canada) See more testimonials at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/#2 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * LEARNING LIFE?S LESSONS - part 2 Continued from Previous Issue The Questionnaire - an explanation * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The ultimate question in all of any psychological search is "what is my lesson here?" "What do I need to learn from this situation which is limiting my happiness or my effective functioning?" Throughout the book, we have presented you with various situations, which we have observed throughout the years, which cause pain and suffering for us and those we connect to. In this chapter we learn a method for discovering what our lessons are in those situations. From the Book Relationships of Conscious Love http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * EXPLANATION OF THE QUESTIONNAIRE FOR DISCOVERING OUR LESSONS Choose someone's behavior which is annoying to you and as you read seek to answer these questons for yourself about that behavior. The specific behavior on the other?s behalf which bothers me and which I would like to analyze here is___________. 1. The emotions that I feel when the other behaves in this way or when I think of him or her behaving in this way are: 2. I feel this way because I have the following beliefs, which make feel that way: These three first questions are designed to help us determine exactly what the stimulus, emotions and beliefs are which are bothering us. We must be careful that our answer concerning the first question is actually a behavior and not an interpretation of a behavior. That "the other does not love me" is not a behavior, it is an interpretation of some behavior. Those who are not familiar with the fundamentals of self-analysis, in which we learn to determine the stimulus, the emotions and the beliefs, will benefit from reading the book "The Psychology or Happiness". Now the questionnaire moves forward to determine the possible aspects of our being which might be mirroring, resonating or projecting. 3. Have I ever behaved in this way towards this person or towards others in the past? We are often annoyed by behaviors, which remind us of aspects of our own behavior that we do not accept or see in ourselves. Thus we need to confront it in others in order to have a stimulus to recognize it in ourselves and transform it. In the case that we realize that, yes, in fact, we occasionally behave in this way our lesson could be: a. To discover and transform the beliefs, habits and attachments which cause us to behave in that way. b. To accept that behavior in ourselves. 4. Is there a part of myself which might fear something here? What do I fear here? And why do I fear that? Any behavior which provokes fear in us will obviously be annoying. We might be tempted to create a list of reasons why the other?s behavior is unethical, unsociable and not proper, but more often the truth is that it annoys us because we fear that this behavior will have some negative consequences for us or those close to us. We must remember that all negative feelings are born from fear and give this question serious thought, looking behind our anger, hurt, resentment, and jealously for the fear which is likely hiding there. The question goes on and on asking why we fear "that", again until we arrive at the basic fear which causes us to be annoyed by that behavior. The lesson here might be to free ourselves from the beliefs which cause us to fear these behaviors. The root of these fears lie in our past experiences. Note: Questions 3 and 4 uncover the vast majority of reflections and projections that create our reality. We attract and are annoyed by those behaviors that reflect our own behavior and that which we fear. 5. Is there a part of me that has learned to expect this behavior, which has come to believe that this is the way this person or others will behave? People often behave towards us in ways that reflect our expectations. If we expect rejection or indifference, we will attract them by sympathetic resonance. The others are simply reflecting back to us our own beliefs and expectations. Our lesson in such a case might be to free ourselves from the beliefs which cause us to expect these behaviors, and to adopt new beliefs which lead to more positive expectations. 6. Is there a part of me that believes that, for some reason, I deserve this behavior? If a part of us subconsciously believes that we are not worthy and that we deserve to be treated in this way, then we will naturally attract this behavior. The others may even feel guilty that they are behaving to us in this way, while they are being pushed subconsciously in this direction by our own beliefs about ourselves (Of course they have the free will to overcome our pull in that direction). Also we will perceive - project this reality even when t does not exist. For example we will perceive rejection, failure or danger where they are not. Our lesson here is to learn to accept and love ourselves as we are and realize that we deserve each person?s love, acceptance and respect - just as they deserve ours. 7. Is there a part of me that behaves towards my own self in the way that this person behaves to me? We often behave in negative ways towards ourselves, criticizing ourselves, ignoring our needs, putting ourselves down or being ironic with ourselves. Then when others do the same to us, we feel annoyed and hurt. But they are simply reflecting back to us our own behavior towards ourselves, whether they perceive it or not. They do not need to see this behavior in us. These beliefs, attitudes, feelings and behaviors are transmitted subconsciously and silently. Our lesson in such a case would be to learn to respect and cultivate positive behaviors towards ourselves. We need to behave towards ourselves as we would like others to behave towards us. (An interesting version of an age old truth, "to do others as you would like them to do to you".) 8. Is there a part of me which occasionally would like to act or behave in that way but something stops me? We sometimes are annoyed by and criticize behaviors, which subconsciously perhaps we would actually like occasionally to be able to adopt. For example, a person who has difficulty in expressing himself might be annoyed by an overly expressive person. A person, who has difficulty being silent, might feel uncomfortable with a silent type. A person who restrains and suppresses himself, in order to be conscientious regarding responsibilities or rules is likely to feel annoyed by and angry with a person who makes no effort to do so. But, perhaps that person who is rejecting and criticizing would actually like to be free to let go once in a while and not be so "responsible". We are also attracting behaviors that reflect our jealousy, lack of understanding and self-restriction. Our lesson here would be to free ourselves in order to behave in a way which represents our beliefs and values. Also to let others to decide for themselves how they want to behave. Others are not required to live their lives according to our morals, standards or limitations. 9. Does this behavior remind me of anything that I experienced as a child? We are often more vulnerable to behaviors which remind us of situations which we experienced when we were children. If we could get free from the pain or fear we are holding from our childhood years, the behavior which presently bothers us would not affect us so much. We are attracting this behavior because we need to have contact with it until we free ourselves from that baggage from the past. It is our stimulus towards growth and maturity. The lesson is to transform our childhood experiences. 10. Am I perhaps playing some role here which is attracting this behavior from the other? A. The victim? B. The intimidator C. The teacher D. The parent E. The child F. The intelligent one G. The righteous one H. The rebel I. The strong one - without needs J. The just one K. The good person L. The one responsible for all M. The server N. The weak one O. The spiritual person P. The judge Q. The Aloof R. The critic or Interrogator. S. Some other role? Each of these roles tends to attract similar or opposite roles from those around us. If we play the parent, the other will behave like a child. If we play the child, the other will behave like a parent, teacher or savior. If we feel responsible for everyone, the others will be irresponsible etc. The lesson here is to discover which of our roles are reflecting in the other?s behavior, or is making his or her behavior annoying to us. Once we determine this, we will need to see what adjustments we need to make in the way we are interpreting our role. 11. Which are my needs or attachments that are being intimidated by this behavior? 12. What will I lose if I do not get the behavior I want from that person? Our needs and attachments are reflected in many ways. Our negative feelings result from our not being able to get what we want or from our fearing that we may not be able to have it, or that we might lose it. When our happiness is dependent on someone or something outside of ourselves, and the time has come for us to transcend that attachment, life offers us behaviors and events which force us to free ourselves from this attachment or else continue to suffer. When the time has come to overcome the belief that "I must have that____" some of the following possible situations might occur: a. Obstacles appear towards having it. b. We obtain it but at the expense of our health. c. We have it but it produces conflicts with others. d. We have it but it causes us conflict with ourselves. e. We have it, but we lose it. f. We destroy our health and harmony trying to get it. h. Some around us also believe we must have it. They strengthen our beliefs. i. Others are against our having it. One lesson is that we can be happy, safe and satisfied without this attachment. Another might be to become more positive and capable of manifesting what we want. 13. Do I have any feelings of guilt here, which might be being mirrored? Are feelings of guilt or responsibility for the other making me vulnerable to this behavior? Our feelings of guilt and shame are very easily reflected by those around us. We attract from others what makes us feel guilt or shame until we are able to transform the beliefs that generate those feelings. Our feelings of guilt or self-doubt are often what which make the other?s behavior painful for us, as we are reminded by their behavior of our doubts about our purity, ability and self-worth. Our lesson is to clarify in our minds what our real responsibilities are concerning the others and where our self-worth is based. 14. Am I being critical, judgmental or rejecting here? We will attract whatever we criticize and condemn until we learn to understand and accept the other. We can disagree with another's behavior, without rejecting the person. As long as we criticize and condemn, we will be confronted over and over again by this same behavior. Our lesson is to develop understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and love for others and ourselves. 15. Do I have any internal conflicts that are being played out here? Is there a part of myself who doubts my own self and agrees with the other? Our internal conflicts are very often reflected by others who are reflecting one of our conflicting personas. Because we are in conflict with ourselves, the other?s behavior annoys us by bringing to the surface a part of ourselves with which we are already in conflict. For example, if one part of ourselves says we should be making more money, get married, achieve more, work more, eat less, spend more time with the children, have more discipline or lose weight and the other person gives us any of these messages in any way, we are disturbed by his or her behavior, because it reminds us of a conflict we already have with ourselves. In such a case, we need to apply an inner dialogue technique and clarify internally what we really want and believe. We also need to accept this conflict until it is resolved and then we will be able to share it with others. This work is described in detail in the book "Saram - A Soul Adventure in Persona Reconciliation". 16. Are there any emotions, needs and beliefs that I have not clearly communicated to the other? Our unexpressed emotions, needs and beliefs are frequently reflected by others. This will happen until we overcome any obstacles to honest and sincere communication with those who behave in ways that annoy us. If we have never expressed clearly to someone without accusation and criticism that his or her behavior bothers us, how do we expect him or her to stop? Our lesson is to learn to make I-messages expressing very clearly what we want, need, feel and believe, without trying to put down or hurt the other. 17. What is my lesson here? What do I need to change in order to stop attracting this behavior and, in the case that it appears, not be bothered by it? 18. What do I need to do to maintain my happiness? Questions 17 and 18 ask us to look to the answers we have given to the questions above and decide what we need to transform in order to cease attracting the behavior which bothers us and, in the case that it does appear, not be bothered by it. The basis answer in each case is to transform the beliefs, which are creating this reflection and projection. 19. Now imagine that the other person actually changes and behaves exactly as you wish, and becomes a perfect friend respecting your every need, and that this problem has completely disappeared. Notice how you feel with this idea. This visualization and question has been added at the end for two reasons. First, it allows us to imagine this situation as solved and transformed. This is an essential aspect of manifesting the change we desire; i.e. to be able to envision it. We cannot create what we cannot first believe. If we cannot image the other as being kind and loving it will very likely never happen. The second reason is for us to see how we feel with the idea of this problem being totally solved and the other behaving in a perfect way. It is interesting that a large number of people have discovered with this question that something was missing when the problem disappeared. They then realized that, although they complain about this person?s behavior, it actually serves some purpose in their lives. For some, being the victim, the abused was their way of establishing their own self-worth. As long as the other was wrong, then they were the good guys and thus worthy. Now without this game, they are no longer affirmed on a daily basis. In other cases, the problem was an excuse for not to being able to manifest their creativity or productivity, and now they would have no excuse. For still others, it was a reason not to be happy, and now they will have to find another reason, or "risk" being happy. This questionnaire could also be used to analyze our lessons inherent in situations or events which are annoying us, by simply replacing the word behavior with the words event, circumstance or situation. Also we can, in the same way, analyze what we can learn from our body through problems of health or appearance. But in this book we are focusing on relationships. Now it is your turn to give these questions a try. ____________________________ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can benefit by removing the energy fields of negativity and fear with Energy Psychology as described in the book Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology. (Also titled Remove Pain.) http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Free email courses * * * * * * * * * * We have created for you FREE email Courses for improving your health, relationships, self esteem, love, forgiveness, happiness etc. Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp and click on the courses you would like to follow and you will receive one lesson a week for free. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can view a shorter version of the EFT tapping procedure by downloading the file http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/EFT-Short-version.mov (File size 2.2 MB - Right Click to download to your computer) View this with QuickTime and leave in original size in order to see details. For more information about how to do EFT, go to: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ebooks by Robert Elias Najemy View them at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp 1. Universal Philosophy 2. The Art of Meditation 3. Contemporary Parables 4. The Mystical Circle of Life 5. Relationships of Conscious Love 6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom 7. Remove Pain - Physical and Emotional with Energy Psychology by Tapping on Acupuncture Points 8. Saram ? The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site 9. The Psychology of Happiness http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * => 1. Guided Relaxation CD's and cassettes * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Guided Relaxation CD's and cassettes You can order them at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/store/cassettes.html Relaxation CD no. 1 with four guided relaxations for only $8 1. Light Healing - This wonderful relaxation guides through the process of filling your body and mind with light, and thus bringing healing and rejuvenating energy into all your being and especially those areas which need help 2. Self Acceptance - We all need to increase our self-esteem and self-confidence. In this relaxation we cultivate feelings of love and acceptance towards ourselves and others. We also focus on self-confidence. 3. Inner Security - In this relaxation we imagine ourselves in situations which in the past have caused us to fear or feel anxiety but now we visualize and feel ourselves with inner peace, self-confidence, inner security while in touch with or dealing with that situation. 4. Inner Guidance - We focus on any particular question or dilemma and move through a process which allows us to get guidance on that issue. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Relaxation CD no. 2 with four guided relaxations for only $8 1. Inner Security - In this relaxation we imagine ourselves in situations which in the past have caused us to fear or feel anxiety but now we visualize and feel ourselves with inner peace, self-confidence, inner security while in touch with or dealing with that situation. 2. Inner Guidance - We focus on any particular question or dilemma and move through a process which allows us to get guidance on that issue. 3. Improving Relationships - We bring to mind a person with whom we would like to improve our relationship or communication and visualize ourselves loving this person and communicating openly and honestly. We create the mental image of a positive relationship. 4. Decision Making - This is also a wonderful relaxation in which we take a trip into nature to discover three doors each of which represents a possible future depending on the decision we have to make. We sense how we feel with each decision and then contact our higher self for further guidance. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * - - - - - - s t a r t - - - - - - Please rate this Ezine at the Cumuli Ezine Finder http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra22185.rate http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/ra22185.rate"> AOL Users - - - - - - e n d - - - - - - - * * * * * Incredible Offer * * * * * NEW Announcing An Amazing Comprehensive CD from Holistic Harmony Network with 1. All nine ebooks by Robert Elias Najemy on CD You get the following for FREE 2. Hundreds of articles free (almost all of our site) 3. Free eCourses 4. Free Video Clip on how to perform EFT with Gary Craig, 5. An audio deep relaxation "Light Healing" for those whose computers support it.- click below to learn more! http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/holisticharmonycd.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** MEMBER INTERACTION ***** Share with us your ways of understanding life. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Recommend Clarity - The Psychology of Happiness to a friend! http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/clarity.ezine http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/clarity.ezine"> AOL Users Click Here * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ***** - SPECIAL OFFER - ***** ** This book has enhanced over 20,000 lives ** A 40% DISCOUNT "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy Click here http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html Thus you will be receiving the book at your home for only $ 10.80 plus $ 5 shipping = $ 15.80 or from Amazon.com at 30% discount http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy The Psychology of Happiness penetrates to the heart of the subject of human happiness in a deep and yet simple, clear and understandable manner. It offers a variety of techniques, questionnaires and guidelines for creating happiness. It covers many subjects including: Psychology of Evolution, Managing Emotions, Overcoming Fear, Loving Ourselves, Facing Loneliness, Stages of Love, Reconciling Inner Conflicts, Healing Our Inner Child, Forgiveness and Freedom, Coping with the Death of Loved Ones. Included are 23 case histories - real life situations and the possible lessons, which we can learn from such and similar situations. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Over 100,000 of Robert E. Najemy's 19 books have been sold in Greek, an impressive number considering the small population and reading tendencies of the Greek public. Some are translated into Portuguese, Persian, Polish, Arabic and German. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * SEMINARS For information about ongoing and also weekend seminars in the following areas email us or call the following numbers GREECE: (in Greek) - Continuously - call 210 6818220 or 210 6818151 CYPRUS: (Greek) call 5- 431616 or 2-772808 or 9 626198 LEBANON (in English) call 03 819818 USA: If you are interested email us at ren@holisticharmony.com If you would like to organize a seminar in your area or If you are interested in attending a seminar in English at our retreat Center in Greece, communicate with us at ren@holisticharmony.com * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Visit us at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com or subscribe: * You are receiving this biweekly newsletter because you have become a member of the Holistic Harmony Network or you or a friend have requested a subscription for you. to subscribe or unsubscribe go to: http://www.holisticharmony.com/smusermanager/login.asp?action=maillist Careful because the same button adds or removes you. Just click once and be sure that it has performed the function you want. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Those of you who are being confronted with serious Life Issues at this time are encouraged to try out our Life Clarification Process at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Articles in this and previous issues can be viewed at http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Again we wish for you to be well and hope that you will care for yourself and your loved ones. May you be well on all levels of your Being. |
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