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Forward or Print and share this with those who will benefit. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can view this and previous issues with greater ease by clicking here http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You are receiving this because you have requested it. Removal instructions are at the end. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * All articles are by Robert Elias Najemy, unless stated otherwise * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Friends, May this find you well. We are presenting you a chapter from the book Miracles of Love and Wisdom. You can access more chapters of this book at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * OPENING UP TO LOVE * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Love brings healing, health, peace and happiness. We all want to love and be loved, and yet we find little love around us and we ourselves find it difficult to love. Let us examine some of the obstacles towards love and some ways to remove them. In the previous chapter, we discussed how we might learn to love ourselves more. In this chapter, we will discuss how to love others more. These are very much interdependent. THE IMPORTANCE OF LOVE In which situations do our hearts close? When do we feel negative emotions towards others? When do we criticize, feel angry, fearful, jealous, bitter, separate and lonely? It is important that we discover which situations cause us to close our hearts in this way. Behind these reactions there lie our obstacles to love, peace and happiness. As long as we allow ourselves to be controlled by such feelings and emotions, we will feel separate, alone and will need to develop various defense mechanisms and play various ego games with the people around us. Our egos will be continuously on guard and we will have little, if any, deep, open, satisfying contact with the people around us. We will be unable to cooperate or share to any significant degree. We will be doomed to loneliness and unhappiness and perhaps eventually illness, as the natural flow of vital energies becomes so blocked within us. Love is the unifying force of the universe. It is the power that works against the forces of dissolution, which are called entropy. It is the intelligence that holds the universe together and sustains it. It holds the electron near the nucleus of the atom. It unifies the cells of the body together into organs. It harmonizes the functioning of the various systems of the body into a unified, harmonious whole. It also expresses itself as gravity, which holds the moon in its orbit around the earth, the earth around the sun and the sun around the center of the galaxy. Love is the force that will some day unite mankind into one harmonious body, in which all the cells of that body (we humans, animals and plants) will live and function for the benefit of the whole. That day may be far off, but each of us can speed up its coming by unblocking the reservoir of love that already exists within. All religions and great spiritual teachers have taught the path of love as the fastest, safest and most direct way of spiritual growth. This power of love, expressed on the highest spiritual level, is called unity. On the mental level it is wisdom and on the physical level it is selfless service to those in need. OUR BLOCKAGES TO LOVE What conditions do we place on our love for others? When do we close ourselves in fear, hurt or bitterness? When do we cut off our open and honest stance with the people around us? Let us look at some possibilities. 1. When others are different from us. That could mean that they belong to a different social class, political party, religion, race or country. They may dress differently, or be handicapped in some way physically or mentally. Do we feel equally comfortable with these people who are different than what we are accustomed to? Or do we feel uneasy, insecure, confused as to how to behave or react? How can we overcome this tendency to feel separate, unconnected to the others? Eventually we would like to be able to feel comfortable, relaxed, open and loving with all people. If we could experience that each is a unique expression of the One Universal Spirit, of which we too are expressions, we would feel comfortable with all beings. We could realize that they too are simple people like us, with the same doubts, insecurities and fears and that they too would like to reach out to us, but do not know how to. We would feel more relaxed with them. If we could realize that we are immortal souls, which can suffer no harm, we would feel relaxed, secure and able to open up to these beings and be ourselves without fear of rejection or hurt. If we had total self-acceptance and self-love, it would be easier for us to open in such situations. 2. When others disagree with us. Why do we fear, close up and get hurt and defensive when others disagree with us? Why do we feel the need to argue and defend our beliefs? Why do we feel rejected and hurt when others do not accept our position? Is it perhaps because we doubt ourselves? Or is it because we identify with our beliefs so much, that we cannot distinguish between the beliefs, which our minds have temporarily adopted, and our immortal Self, which is witnessing the contents of that mind. We change beliefs many times in the course of a life. Think about what you believed when you were five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty and forty years of age. What makes us think that we have now found the ultimate truth? Why are we so attached to our beliefs? Perhaps they give us security in a world of confusion. We are entitled to our beliefs and there is no need to change them, simply because someone else does not agree with us. But they too are entitled to their beliefs and we need not feel offended, rejected or insecure when they do not agree with us. Perhaps we get most upset when we ourselves are not very sure of our beliefs. In such cases, we may have need for approval or affirmation from others. Not getting it makes us insecure and upset, perhaps even angry. In such cases our love doesn?t flow. When we realize that our beliefs are in a constant state of change and when we have no need for approval, or affirmation, from others concerning our beliefs, we will be able to hear the others? opinions. We can then think about them and decide for ourselves what conclusion we want to make, without feeling any need to change the beliefs of others, or to become upset about their differing views on that subject. 3. When others criticize us. This case is much like the previous one. Do we feel hurt, rejected, upset or angry when others criticize us? Why? Do we lack self-confidence and self-love? Others may feel upset or disturbed and need to criticize us. That means that they have some problem. Perhaps they do not like something about us or our behavior. Their criticisms could be based entirely on their own programmings, attachments, expectations, and fears in life and have nothing to do with us. In this case, we can listen to their complaints and practice active listening, in order to try to help them feel better, because the problem is theirs. There is no need whatsoever for us to feel hurt, offended, upset or guilty. Life is giving them this experience for their growth. We can help them to use it for that, by continuing to love them and help them understand what they want to do. On the other hand, their criticisms may contain some truth in them, in which case it would be useful to listen to them and make the corresponding adjustments in our behavior. Again there is no need for feeling hurt or upset, but on the contrary, full of love and gratitude towards those who have helped us see our faults and change them - for that is the basic purpose for which we have incarnated. There is no need to make apologies or excuses, or to feel embarrassed. We are souls in the process of evolution and will be making many mistakes on that road to perfection. We are not perfect, and that is logical and acceptable, since we are in a state of evolution. If we feel we have harmed someone, we would do well to ask forgiveness and seek to correct the wrong, and then, continue on happily with our lives. We can listen without fear to all criticism. There is no need to decide immediately whether the others? are correct. We can thank them for their comments and tell them that we will be observing ourselves in the future to see if it is true, then we will act accordingly. In this way we can, without fear, react with assertiveness and love, without hurt, resentment or anger. The lesson may also be to do all this without any attachment to the result. The lesson could also be that we owe something to this person from the past. Another possibility is that we have come to the stage of our evolution, where we do not need that which we desire to have any more, but, because we do not let go of it voluntarily, the Universal Teacher places an obstacle in our way. In such a case, we have nothing to do but learn the lesson, give up the desire and forgive and love, those who have helped us to get free from that attachment. 4. When others harm us or our loved ones. I remember confronting this situation when someone murdered my father. Our first feelings in such cases are shock, hurt, injustice, anger and revenge. Handling such situations requires much the same kind of thinking, which we expressed in the above example. We must realize that all beings are functioning within the control of a Divine Justice. We and our loved ones have created whatever happens to us through our past and present thoughts, words and actions. No one can ever do anything to us that is not a part of a higher wisdom or justice. Even if they are at the level of evolution, where they must steal, lie or harm in various ways, they will not be able to do it to us unless it is our karma. So whatever is done to us, or our loved ones, is always perfect and of our own creation. We have nothing to do except forgive and continue to love. But this does not mean that we will not fight incorrect actions such as stealing, killing and harming of people in general. We will fight these forms of behavior with all the correct means, through courts and law, but will not have any hate towards the others or attachment towards the results. Our goal is to protect righteousness but not to avenge any particular person. After making our best effort to correct the ignorance and resulting evil in the world, we then accept the result as part of the divine plan. Knowing that we are divine souls, and that there is a divine plan, which is guiding our lives, helps us to feel secure and safe enough not to fear others who try to harm us. We know that whatever may happen to our bodies or minds, we can never die. We are immortal and always fulfilled and peaceful in the center of our being. Experiencing that we cannot be harmed by others, we will continue to love them, despite their silly attempts to harm us. We will understand that they are acting out of ignorance and are controlled by their attachments and fears. We will forgive them and love them. 5. When our energy is low. When we are sick, tired, run-down, we have less patience, strength, tolerance, forgiveness and love for those around us. We become more easily annoyed, hurt, upset and angered by what people around us do or say. It is important then, either to live in such a way as to keep our energy always high, or else be able, when it is low, to be unaffected by it. The second is more difficult because the mind, at our present level of evolution, is still very much affected by the state of the body. For this reason, it is extremely important for us to employ the various techniques such as physical exercises, breathing exercises, proper diet, deep relaxation and meditation for keeping a healthy, vital and strong body and mind. Then we will have much more energy, patience, forgiveness and love for others. 6. When we are disturbed by personal problems. In such cases, we have less energy, patience and interest for others. All our energy is absorbed either in worrying about, or trying to solve our problems more effectively, or to learn not to identify so much with our problems when we have them. Some may move down both paths simultaneously. The second is, of course, more difficult in that it requires the spiritual discrimination between the Self and the mind. The problems exist in the mind and concern the temporary reality of the body and mind. The eternal witness, which we really are, is not affected by these problems. If we can develop that awareness, then when various concerns occupy our minds, we can let them take their path undisturbed. We do not need to get upset or afraid. We know from experience that just as they have come, they will also leave. In this way, they leave much more quickly. An effective way, of overcoming this blockage towards loving others, is to practice self-analysis with the help of a daily diary and come to an understanding as to which beliefs, programmings, fears or expectations are creating this problem in our minds. Then we want to find the various spiritual affirmations that will help us to overcome it. We can also explain to others that we have inner problems that are occupying our attention and energy so that they do not think wrongly that we do not love them. 7. When we do not love and accept ourselves. We have discussed this point at length in the previous chapter. It is obvious that a if we do not have enough love for ourselves, we will not have enough for others. It is also true that the same conditions, which we have placed on our love for ourselves, will obstruct our acceptance of, and love for, others. There may be many more obstacles to loving. Think of them and analyze them yourselves. (There is a more detailed analysis of this in the book The Psychology of Happiness.) In essence, however, they boil down to some basic core beliefs such as the following: a) I am this body and this mind. b) I am vulnerable and others can harm me. I must protect myself. c) What is different is dangerous. d) Maybe what I believe is not true. Then I am not secure. e) When others disagree with me, or criticize me, it means that I am wrong or no good. f) Others are responsible for my happiness and unhappiness. g) Others must earn my love. We realize now that these thoughts as based on ignorance of the reality of the one Universal Spirit, which is expressing itself through all beings, regardless of their form or behavior. We also realize that all beings want to love, that all beings are Divine Energy incarnated, and that God is Love and Love is God. So every being is love, covered by an ego. When we remove that ego we find love. Thus we need to look beyond people?s ego and concentrates on the love that is within them. We can perceive them as souls in the process of evolution and thus have patience and love for them. We will then gradually learn to love universally and unconditionally. (In most cases we will also benefit by removing the resulting energy fields of negativity and fear with Energy Psychology as described in the book Free to be Happy with Energy Psychology.) (Also titled Remove Pain.) * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Free email courses * * * * * * * * * * We have created for you FREE email Courses for improving your health, relationships, self esteem, love, forgiveness, happiness etc. Go to http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/courses/index.asp and click on the courses you would like to follow and you will receive one lesson a week for free. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * You can view a shorter version of the EFT tapping procedure by downloading the file http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/EFT-Short-version.mov (File size 2.2 MB - Right Click to download to your computer) View this with QuickTime and leave in original size in order to see details. For more information about how to do EFT, go to: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/eft/index.asp * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ebooks by Robert Elias Najemy View them at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/ebooks/index.asp 1. Universal Philosophy 2. The Art of Meditation 3. Contemporary Parables 4. The Mystical Circle of Life 5. Relationships of Conscious Love 6. The Miracles of Love and Wisdom 7. Remove Pain - Physical and Emotional with Energy Psychology by Tapping on Acupuncture Points 8. Saram ? The Adventures of a Soul and Insight into the Male Psyche And available also at bookstores near you and also on our site 9. The Psychology of Happiness http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * => 1. 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It offers a variety of techniques, questionnaires and guidelines for creating happiness. It covers many subjects including: Psychology of Evolution, Managing Emotions, Overcoming Fear, Loving Ourselves, Facing Loneliness, Stages of Love, Reconciling Inner Conflicts, Healing Our Inner Child, Forgiveness and Freedom, Coping with the Death of Loved Ones. Included are 23 case histories - real life situations and the possible lessons, which we can learn from such and similar situations. ^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~ Over 100,000 of Robert E. Najemy's 19 books have been sold in Greek, an impressive number considering the small population and reading tendencies of the Greek public. 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