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The Psychology of Happiness Concepts for a Happier more Harmonious life Published every 7th and 21st of the month April 21, 2002 Circulation 1100 Issue # 13 Focus - Overcoming Fear This ezine is a work of love. May you enjoy it and benefit from it *********************************************************** *May this issue find you well and happy on all levels of your being.* If you are not yet a member become one (FREE) at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com & ** Benefit from over 600 FREE articles, ebooks, ** * Discounts on books and cassettes * * and our Life Clarification Process.* ************************************************************ KNOW SOMEONE who would benefit from this important information? Forward it or Print it for them. ************************************************************ ******* ATTENTION ******* You can view this and previous issues with greater ease by clicking here http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/ *********************************************************** Unsubscribe instructions are at the end of this newsletter. ************************************************************ * Forward this ezine or a particular article to a friend. * ** He or she may be * very grateful * to you. ** ************************************************************ May we live in peace, harmony and love. ************************************************************ IN THIS ISSUE - Focus on Overcoming Fear Gain Insight into your fears at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/research/anxiety.html ************************************************************ => Editorial - What do you Fear? ************************************************************ => 1. The Results of Fear ************************************************************ => 2. The Causes of Fear ************************************************************ => 3. Facing our Fears ************************************************************ => 4. Healing our Fears ************************************************************ => 5. Objectifying our Fears and Emotions ************************************************************ => 6. Fear - Faith - Wisdom - Love ************************************************************ => 7. Special Offer - If you find these writings useful, You will want The Psychology of Happiness at 40% discount. http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html ************************************************************ => 8. Subscribe/Unsubscribe information ************************************************************ What do you Fear? Robert Elias Najemy Overcoming Fear Part I "We Have Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself" Franklin Theodore Roosevelt Indeed fear is our greatest obstacle to happiness, peace and fulfillment on a personal, social and international level. All anger, hatred, prejudice, aggression, violence, and war can be ultimately attributed to fear. Fear is the Mother of All Negative Emotions From the moment we relinquished the security of our mother?s womb and had our umbilical cord cut, we experienced separation, isolation, insecurity and fear. We fear for our bodies and personalities because we know they are vulnerable and mortal. Out of fear, we seek to create some sense of security by ensuring that we have sufficient people, money, and objects, as well as a professional and social position, etc. in our lives. Then we experience a second level of fear: the fear that we might not be able to hold onto everything we have acquired. We might lose them to death, decay or change. We fear not having what we need in order to feel secure and happy. We fear losing these things when we do have them. We fear others who might take these things from us. We fear change that might make them disappear. We fear death, which means losing all this. Some Types of Fears There are literally thousands of various manifestations of fear. We can fear just about anything our imagination allows. Let us list just a few, while remembering that they all stem from the basic fear of pain, rejection or extinction of the ego or its various attachments. *Some of us are afraid of animals, insects, spiders, cockroaches, centipedes, snakes, birds and other wild animals. * We fear each other and the opposite sex. * The poor fear the rich and the rich the poor. Movies, television and newspapers do much to increase our feelings of mistrust, vulnerability and fear, by concentrating on violence, both real and imaginary. We have learned to perceive our fellow beings as a threat to our safety and happiness. * Those of one race tend to fear those of another. * Some nations create nationalistic feelings by generating fear of other countries. * Those, whose religious beliefs are weak, tend to mutate into fanatics out of fear of being wrong. The idea is that the more people you can get to believe what you believe, the more right you must be. * We may fear heights, confined spaces, open spaces, the ocean, fire, airplanes, trains, cars, elevators, or machines in general. * Some fear lightning, thunder, storms, earthquakes or even strong wind. Ø We also might fear exams, making mistakes, classrooms or failing in general Ø Or perhaps letting go, expressing our real feelings or beliefs. Ø Many of us are afraid of telling the truth. Ø We fear rejection and criticism, or not being loved or accepted. Ø Some of us are afraid of falling "in love" or creating a love relationship because of the pain it may bring. Ø Most fear speaking in front of large groups of people. Ø We fear not being loved if people really know us. Ø We fear growing old and getting ill. Ø We fear losing someone?s love. Ø We might subconsciously fear not having enough to eat. Ø We have learned to fear God, nature, and the elements. Ø Most fear cemeteries and spirits of the dead. Finally, there is the fear of all fears-- the fear of darkness. For many of us darkness offers a festive occasion for fear to play with our imagination. A dark, unfamiliar room (or even a familiar one after seeing one of those horror films) becomes quite threatening. Darkness is the unknown and therefore is associated with danger and death. The mind can imagine anything hiding in the darkness. We are ignorant of what lies in darkness and thus identify it with danger and death. Of all these fears the most common are of: 1. Rejection 2. Failure 3. Death of a loved one 4. Our own death 5. Illness and weakness 6. Physical and / or emotional pain 7. People and animals A List of Fears Take a look at the following list to see which stimuli or thoughts might sometimes cause you to feel uncomfortable. Basic fears can be expressed in an infinite number of ways according to each person?s specific mental mechanisms. The various expressions of fear have different names, such as insecurity, anxiety, concern, weakness, worry, inability, confusion, fear itself, depression, denial, shock, hysteria, panic, paralysis, anger, hate, rage, aggressiveness, violence, jealously, etc. Remember that sometimes fears can be subconscious, thus, although our basic emotion is fear, we might react with anger or crying. Even when we may not consciously fear, our inner child or subconscious may. Check on this list whatever makes you feel uncomfortable and add anything else you discover. 1. Your own death 2. Sudden death by accident 3. Death of a loved one 4. Illness 5. Being paralyzed 6. Growing old 7. War 8. Earthquakes 9. Snakes, rats, mice, cockroaches 10. Dogs, cats 11. Failure at work 12. Failure in relationships 13. Failure at school, 14. Failure in life 15. Rejection from others 16. Being laughed at by others 17. Criticism 18. Loneliness 19. Financial insecurity 20. Others? aggressiveness 21. The dark 22. The unknown 23. God or his punishment 24. Losing your freedom 25. Losing your self-worth 26. Conflicts with others 27. The sea, heights, fires 28. Cars, planes, boats 29. Elevators, confined spaces 30. Large gatherings of people 31. Travelling by your self 32. Losing your sanity 33. Being rejected in a love relationship 34. The opposite sex 35. Microbes and dirt 36. Others_________________________________ Now keep in mind what you fear as you continue reading The next sections of this series will offer us effective means of freeing ourselves from fear. ************************************************************ => 1. The Results of Fear ************************************************************ *** The Results of Fear *** 1. Fear and insecurity are synonymous. When we feel insecure, we naturally become concerned and spend great portions of time, energy, thought and money toward establishing external security. We focus on acquiring and protecting our sources of persons, food, shelter, sex, money, possessions, prestige or any other external factors which will help us feel secure. 2. This type of thinking and living is often, by necessity, ego-centered and maintained at the expense of others. We do not feel secure enough to love and give, but need to take. When such a psychology permeates our social and national psyche, it can lead to conflict and war. 3. When we feel insecure, we seldom feel the confidence to try something new; we tend to stick to old habits and familiar ways. We fear the new and the unknown. Our lives become stale, boring, habitual, meaningless and without growth. This boring, habitual kind of life leads to inertia; a waking sleep, a living death. Much time and energy are spent on satisfying our security addictions and there is little or no energy left for emotional, mental or spiritual growth. 4. Fear is also the cause and result of a feeling of vulnerability and mistrust. When we feel insecure, we feel threatened by unfamiliar situations or people, thus explaining the development of racial hatred, religious intolerance, and international tensions and war. We mistrust each other and act in defensive and often offensive ways in order to protect ourselves from the imagined danger. 5. When we fear, our reason is nullified and our imagination runs wild, creating the worst possible scenarios, which are usually far from the actual reality. 6. Perception is distorted and we misinterpret others? intentions and actions. When our reason is sufficiently overcome by a panicking imagination, we are moved to prejudice, narrow-mindedness, anger, hate, and in extreme cases aggression, violence, cruelty and war. Even in cases where we do not get carried to such extremes, our relationships usually suffer. It is not possible to be open and loving when we are insecure and fearful. 7. Such irrational behavior reaches its climax in the mob mentality. When many human beings gather into in a large group, their mentality often tends to be reduced to that of the lowest of the group?s members. This can be likened to a chain, which is as strong as its weakest link. Large groups of people are not much different in their instinctual reactions from herds of animals and flocks of birds. If one panics in fear, all follow. We often hear of hundreds of persons injured and even trampled to death at soccer matches, demonstrations, and other large gatherings. 8. Living in fear means living with a constant underlying tension. There will be frequent secretions by the adrenal glands as unfamiliar persons and events will cause alarm and elicit the "fight or flight" response. This is exhausting for the nervous, immune and endocrine systems. The pituitary gland and hypothalamus are thrown out of balance, and the immune system becomes run down, setting the stage for a variety of physical and mental illnesses. Health and happiness flee from fear. 9. Perhaps the most unfortunate result of fear is that it acts like a magnet, literally attracting to us to the very things that we fear the most. Fearful thoughts are like magnetic waves which subconsciously interact with the world around us, attracting to us those exact situations and experiences that cause us to be frightened. If we fear thieves, we increase the possibility of encountering them. The same would be true of dogs, cockroaches, spiders, etc. We do not, however, create the death of a loved one by fearing that. We do not create the others? reality. Attracting what we fear is actually very useful for our growth process because it forces us to face and become familiar with the things that we fear, which is the first step towards overcoming them. Many of us have discovered by experience that our fear of an event had been out of proportion to the problem actually created by that feared event, and that our fear was entirely unnecessary. 10. Fear is also our greatest obstacle to moving forward in our lives. Every fear is like a closed door that prevents us from researching, growing and developing in many aspects of our lives. We will investigate the causes and solutions to fear in the remaining sections of this series. (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) ************************************************************ *** The Psychology of Happiness *** ** This book has enhanced over 20,000 lives ** *** EVEN MORE Testimonials about this book *** " I have now learned to live at peace with the society and see humanity with love. I am freed from hate, aggression and negative emotions. I have found my self and have become an honest citizen." Spyros Kontopoulos 45yrs. Architect You have so much to gain by ordering this book with a 30% DISCOUNT from Amazon by clicking here: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 Or here for a 40% DISCOUNT by clicking here: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html Or ask your local bookstore to order it with ISBN number 0-9710116-0-5 ************************************************************ ========================== Balance. Success. Joy. They're yours when you subscribe to the New Leaf. It's like having a free personal coach in your in box. Subscribe in seconds at http://www.mollygordon.com ========================== 6/9 ************************************************************ ==> 2. The Causes of Fear ************************************************************ *** The Causes of Fear *** The prime and basic cause of all fear is our ignorance of our true nature. If we experienced or were convinced of our invulnerable eternal soul-nature, we would never feel any fear whatsoever. Because we do not, or cannot, believe this truth, we feel vulnerable, separate, isolated and susceptible to extinction or insignificance. Because of this, we identify with the body and the complex of personality traits, which we call "I". All fears, no matter how specific they may appear to be, can be traced back to the basic fear of rejection of pain to or extinction of the "I", and the loss of any of its security attachments. Some subordinate factors also contribute to fear: 1. A feeling of separateness increases our fear. When we feel close to people and nature we cannot easily fear them. Fear results from a feeling of alienation, which manifests a general feeling of suspicion of all and everything. 2. Unfamiliarity with people and things also causes suspicion and fear. When we come in contact with someone who dresses or behaves differently from what we are accustomed, our security base is undermined and we often react with caution and perhaps defensive or offensive behavior. 3. Attachment to people and objects related to our security cause to fear and play power games in order to protect our possessions, relationships or self-image when we suspect we are in danger of losing them. 4. Imagination can create images of doom and suffering far beyond any physical reality or likelihood. Imagination in itself is not negative. It is misused by the fear complex of: alienation, unfamiliarity, vulnerability, mistrust and attachment. 5. Emotionally charged memory of previous negative experiences, where we have either witnessed or suffered harm, loss or death provokes fear. Our subconscious mind stores memories of such unpleasant experiences from the past. We also carry within us instinctual fear complexes resulting from our evolution through the animal kingdom. Thus, we project onto the present and future what we have experienced in the past, generating a distorted perception of reality. Also our memory is not quantitative but qualitative. It does not assign the same power to each memory. For example, we may have driven a car 3000 times without any problem, and then have one accident and fear driving after that. Thus we are allowing one experience weight more than 3000. In the same way, we might have had hundreds of loving contacts with a person and then let one negative one cause us not to talk to this person and perceive him or her as evil. This illustrates that each thought has a certain energy field associated with it, which creates our emotional reactions when we come into contact with that thought. This is the basis of the newly discovered Energy Based Psychology systems of Thought Field Therapy (Dr. Roger Callahan) and Emotional Freedom Techniques (Gary Craig) which offer easy and quick freedom from fear and other negative emotions. We will discuss these in later sections of this series. The Purpose of Fear Fear has its purpose in the animal kingdom, where the animal?s low state of consciousness leaves little recourse but to fight or flee. As humans with higher consciousness, however, we have alternative methods for dealing with potential dangers. Clearer examination of the many situations which we feared as dangerous will reveal that they simply were no so. How many times have we been stricken with fear upon experiencing a sudden sound or sight, only to eventually realize we were completely wrong in our interpretation? How many times have we worried intensely about a future event, imagining the worst, only to have everything work out fine? And even if we could not, at first, accept how things worked out, everything was dissolved and forgotten in the ceaselessly flowing river of time. Very few of our fears are based on our present reality, but rather are founded on a remembered but nonexistent past or an imagined future. Our fears seldom concern an immediate danger, such as a tiger attacking us or a bomb falling on our heads. Even in the case that we are actually in danger at the present moment, fear will only cause us to become stiff in body and unclear in mind. We could deal with danger much more efficiently if we perceived and acted with clarity, self-confidence and courage. (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) ************************************************************ Have a happier, healthier and more energetic you! Treat yourself and your family with good times, healthy, energizing ideas and great potential income. www.moms-connection.com Subscribe to newsletter: http://www.moms-connection.com/subscribe.htm Join the Momsteam: http://www.moms-connection.com/themomteam.htm (2/4) ************************************************************ => 3. Facing our Fears ************************************************************ *** Facing our Fears *** As human beings in the process of evolution, it is imperative that we overcome the bondage of fear so we may experience the security, peace, love, courage, faith, wisdom, understanding and fulfillment which we desire, deserve and which is our destiny. Fear binds us to a lower level of consciousness with less love and happiness. Actual Contact One way to overcome a fear is to gradually approach that being, object or situation in gradual but increasing doses. We will, in this way, by experience, learn that in reality it is harmless to us. Fear of the sea could be gradually overcome by immersing our bodies, allowing the water to come up to our ankles, knees and so on over a period of time. Fear of heights can be eventually conquered through exposure to gradually increasing heights. This technique can be used with the fear of any real object or situation. The important factor to remember is to make the right dosage of contact. We should start slowly and bring ourselves just to the threshold of fear, just where fear begins and where we can still observe and work with the fear through breathing and relaxation. Later, the experience can be repeated, this time increasing contact with that which is feared, playing with our limits, and learning to relax while in contact. We can relax by breathing slowly and deeply while reminding ourselves of the truth that we are not actually in danger, but that our mind is being controlled by some false conditioning, probably from some past experience. At the moment we begin to feel fear, we can begin to breathe more slowly and deeply, while concentrating on relaxing the body and mind. We will notice that certain muscles begin to tense up. We can relax these muscles with the help of the breath and mental messages of relaxation. We may remember thoughts that help us to feel more secure or bring to mind any frame of reference that allows us to feel security and protection, such as God, or various spiritual or logical truths. We can remind ourselves that our imagination is being exploited by our unfounded fears and that the danger we feel is not real. Mental Contact Contact with the feared can also be made through the subconscious mind and the imagination. Through methods of relaxation, self-hypnosis, mind control, and positive projection techniques, we can imagine having contact with the feared. When we imagine ourselves in contact with the feared object or situation, we might find that we experience the same types of emotional and physical reactions as we do when actually in contact. We can then visualize alternative ways of feeling and reacting to that previously feared situation. If we have feared certain animals, insects, or even certain types of people, we can imagine ourselves as feeling safe, secure and peaceful while in contact with them. We can imagine ourselves feeling safe, self-confident and courageous. Such reprogramming of the subconscious mind will eventually alter our reactive mechanisms to life. Those who are already experienced in such techniques can do such reprogramming sessions alone, but some will need guidance in getting started. Those, who choose to, can even imagine accepting (not desiring, but accepting) death. We can eventually reprogram ourselves to believe in our indestructible soul nature, thus removing all fear at the root. There are three approaches here. a. Some prefer to project that nothing unpleasant will ever happen to them. This is useful and will, to a large extent, send out positive energies to our environment, creating a positive reality. Of course, we will all eventually die and all lose our loved ones at some point. No amount of projection will prevent this. b. Others choose to imagine all in God?s light and leave the specifics of what will happen to some higher and wiser power, such as God. The first technique is an active projection of what we want to happen and the second is a passive acceptance of whatever is best. c. A third possibility would be to project what we prefer in each situation and then offer it to God, placing it in light and completing our "prayer" with the thought, "May the Highest Good for all occur in this situation." "Energy Meridian Based Psychology" = EMDR ? TFT - EFT These initials stand for the latest techniques for freeing ourselves from unwanted emotions. These will be explained in greater detail in future articles. Let is suffice to say that: 1. EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (Francine Shapiro) needs to be applied by an experienced EMDR practitioner who will enable us to come into contact with the traumatic event which is causing our fear, pain, guilt, self-rejection or other negative emotion. After doing so, the memory will be discharged and then reinterpreted as we introduce the logic or truth we chose into this previously traumatic memory, thus healing us of this problem. 2. TFT or Thought Field Therapy (Dr. Roger Callahan) deals with the specific energy field which is generated by each thought and allows us to heal this energy field, thus removing the cause of that specific emotion. Thus we focus on what we fear and then tap on specific acupuncture points in order redistribute that energy field and thus collapsing the energy disruption (identified with that thought) which was creating the emotion. This, too, often requires an experienced practitioner 3. EFT of Emotional Freedom Therapy (Gary Craig) is a simplified version of TFT, which we can employ on ourselves. We bring to mind whatever causes our negative emotion (such as fear or anxiety) and then tap on specific points in order to correct that disruption in the energy field, which creates the emotion. The thought creates the energy field and the energy field creates the emotion. If we correct the energy field the emotion disappears. In my 35 years of counseling, I have found no techniques more effective than these. You can change your life through them. As EFT allows us to help ourselves, I am supplying you with an address for that http://www.emofree.com *********************************************************** ***** MEMBER INTERACTION ***** Share with us your ways of understanding life. *********************************************************** Recommend Clarity - The Psychology of Happiness to a friend! http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/clarity.ezine http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/clarity.ezine"> AOL Users Click Here *********************************************************** => 4. Healing our Fears ************************************************************ *** Healing our Fears *** Regression Techniques Memory regression techniques can be used to expose to the conscious mind the hidden sources of fear locked in the subconscious mind. Individuals, who have been severely paralyzed by unreasonable fears, have been cured upon the release into the conscious mind of those hidden traumatic memories. Many case histories are available concerning those who had been affected by experiences from the past. Through hypnotic regression and other techniques, memories of the past and birth experiences have been uncovered in hundreds of thousands of people. Such techniques are being used today by psychologists and other mental health professionals seeking to help liberate those suffering from inexplicable fears or guilt. Bringing these previously suppressed subconscious images into the light of the conscious mind helps to dissolve the problem. Employing power psychology techniques such as EMDR, TFT or EFT can greatly expedite this process. (See previous section) Relaxation and Rejuvenation of the Body and Mind Through systematic practice of proper eating, physical exercise, breathing techniques and relaxation techniques or meditation, we can release traumas, stresses and fears lodged in the body and mind. As our whole being becomes more relaxed, tension and fear naturally subside, and inner peace and feelings of inner security develop. Relaxation brings greater peace, and greater peace allows us to react with less fear and tension, thus allowing for more relaxation. The opposite is also true. Fear brings tension, in turn creating more fear. When our energy level is higher and more harmonious, we are better equipped to deal with stress, challenges and difficulties. We feel stronger and more powerful, less fearful. Knowledge A study of ourselves and the world, will demonstrate that many beings, situations and events that we feared because of our unfamiliarity and ignorance are not actually harmful at all. We tend to fear many types of animals, when the truth is that the animals have much more reason to fear us. We have caused harm to and killed many more of them than they have of us. Often we fear others because we project our own intentions onto them. An aggressive person who wishes harm to others will also imagine the same intentions in the others. A simple peace loving person will have fewer fears. A deeper study of our true nature will eventually guide us to the realization that our existence is not limited to our body and personality, which we are desperately trying to protect. Eventually, we will begin to perceive ourselves as eternal souls. The more we understand, the less we perceive as unfamiliar, unknown and threatening. As our wisdom increases, we realize that we really have nothing to fear in this world. Sharing with and Being Supported by Others Growth groups in which people come together to share honestly and openly for the purpose of self-improvement and self-understanding can be very helpful for those of us wanting to overcome fears and other negative emotions and habits. a. We become aware of the fact that others share many of our fears, needs and feelings. b. Talking about a fear makes it more objective and helps us to relate to it as something separate from ourselves the next time it arises. c. A group gives us emotional support, and we can think of the group the next time we are faced with the fear-creating situation. In this way, we help each other grow more mentally and emotionally mature. d. In addition, we get the benefit of feeling less isolated, less alienated, and more loved and understood. We suggest that you read the previous and upcoming article of this series. May you be well (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) *********************************************************** => 5. Objectifying our Fears and Emotions ************************************************************ *** Objectifying our Fears and Emotions *** Objectify We can develop separateness from our fears and other emotions by objectifying the part of ourselves, which feels those emotions. This can done by: a. Drawing how we imagine that part of our being to look. b. Writing a letter to that part of our personality. c. Engaging in a written or verbal dialogue with it. d. Allowing this part of ourselves to express itself through dance. In these ways, we are able to realize that we are not that part of ourselves, which is programmed to fear. Function Parallel to It Then we can function parallel to it. Even though one part of ourselves does not want to proceed out of fear, we can move forward in spite of those feelings. This is called living parallel with the fear. We observe it, recognize it, and accept it, but function parallel to it, doing what we actually fear to do. This is also very much like behavioral therapy in which we gradually come into contact with the aspects in life that we fear most. The following is a letter written by a young man at the age of 25 after occasional periods of residing in a clinic for mental health. He has understood his fear well and his letter will help us also understand ours. A Letter Addressed To Fear "Dear Fear, "I think I know quite a lot about you. With God's help, I more or less came to understand how you were born and how later you became so huge that you broke up my existence. "The seed that bore you may have come from previous lives, but you fell on fertile ground, found the right conditions and grew so as to threaten everything inside of me. The ambience within the family, traumatic experiences, and perhaps things still unknown to me and yet to come, all served as food for you. "Now that you have gone into orbit and are so low in the sky that soon you will sink, I can see you as a huge piranha with innumerable black tentacles, an entity close to the form of death. "I say that you are low in the sky because you still hold me captive, a prisoner. I know you originally came to protect me, but you hugged me dangerously tight, distorted my ideas, engendered violence and aggression, overfed my ego and almost destroyed me. "You grew metastasis in every part of my being to such a degree that at the sound of your name alone I became terrified. I am afraid even when you are not there. In the end, like a ghost, you began to haunt me always and everywhere. In this ceaseless running you have imposed upon me, I have been running down many evil and dangerous roads. "There is no doubt that if it weren't for you, I would not be escaping to find new horizons. Although I have tasted death because of you and am still in pain, I thank you for chasing me. On the dark paths I had taken, I suddenly saw in the sky a star, like a flickering candle, which began to guide me and determine my life. "As time goes by, slowly but steadily, and this star shines more brightly and make my progress surer, I want you to understand that this light is divine and will gradually illuminate every nook and cranny of my being, the places where you are now. "So I thank you for bringing me so far to protect me. Now I don't need you anymore. Go away. My real self is beginning to grow. That which fears nothing is strong and serene. "As for you, the dwellings you find and the reality in which you flourish are all nothing but delusion. "I thank God that, with His help, I dare to face you. With the ever- increasing light I shall beam onto you, you will begin to disappear, seeking another dark place in the shadows. "I am already certain that you are low in the sky and someday will no longer exist. " This letter teaches some important points about fear and coming to terms with it. a. The writer speaks of coming to understand how this fear was born in his mind. In this way, he objectifies it and can then perceive it as something separate from himself, which was programmed into him at some particular moment. b. He gives it a form, a "huge piranha." This also facilitates objectifying and distancing it. c. He understands that at first the fear was a protective mechanism, but it then got out of control. d. He realizes now that he does not need it for protection, that he can find healthier forms of protection. e. He also realizes he can heal this part of himself by sending love and light, for fear can exist only in darkness, ignorance and a lack of love. We suggest that you read the previous and forthcoming sections of this series. May you be well (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) *********************************************************** => 6. Fear - Faith - Wisdom - Love *********************************************************** *** Fear - Faith - Wisdom - Love *** Faith in the Divine Faith in God can be a great help in confronting any danger, real or imaginary. When we believe in a benign Divine Being whose presence and power permeates the universe, we feel protected. When we believe all that happens is in some way controlled or allowed by wise and just Universal Laws, then we have faith that even seemingly accidental and unjust events have some higher purpose, and thus a higher justice, even when we are not able to understand it. This is a matter of faith, which means we believe in a power or higher law that we cannot perceive or prove exists. If we could see the divine or its laws, we would call this knowledge instead of faith. Faith and knowledge are the ultimate solutions to fear. No one can guarantee that something what we fear will not happen. It is probably very unlikely, but the possibility is always there. Thus, the ultimate solution to fear is positive thinking: a. A belief that all will turn out well. b. But at the same time, we know that whatever happens will be the best possible solution for our growth process. c. And that we do have the power to handle it. The situations we fear offer us an opportunity to grow stronger and more self-confident. Faith in a Divine Justice allows us to enter openly into every situation knowing that we will encounter only what serves our own evolutionary process, whether it be pleasant or unpleasant. Guilt and Fear Some of us who are ridden with unreasonable fears may be suffering from subconscious guilt. Often our fear is based on the belief that we will be punished in some way for "sins." We have been programmed to believe that we are not pure or good, and that because of this, we have lost divine protection and that we might be punished. Thus, guilt leads to fear. Conversely, recognizing our inner divine nature and our innate oneness with the universe will allow us to experience inner security. Wisdom By practicing spiritual knowledge or discrimination between our Selves and our minds, we can observe fear functioning on its own. The idea here is that since we can observe the mind and comment on its activity, obviously, we cannot be the mind, but rather some higher entity that is observing it. Thus, we can see that it is not our true Self that is expressing fear, but the mind, which is only an organ or instrument. We can watch the mind, the imagination and the whole passing drama of our lives as a witness. We can reaffirm, "I am not this body. I am not this mind. I am not this fear. I am the witness of all this." Those who believe so can add, "I am a soul in union with all other souls and with God." When we begin to feel the truth of these statements, we no longer fear others, because there are no others. We realize our oneness with all. We feel a loving union and thus security with all. The fear created by the cut umbilical cord and the feeling of separateness is removed, because a spiritual umbilical cord has been reestablished to the all Creation. Pure Love The development of pure love is also an ultimate solution for fear. We cannot fear what we love. Love is based on unity and fear on alienation - separateness. St. John the Evangelist wrote in one of his letters, "There is no fear in love; perfect love drives out all fear. So then, love has not been made perfect in anyone who is afraidÉ" Love and understanding walk together hand in hand. We love when we understand others, and we understand when we love. When we are filled with love for all, we will not feel isolated and therefore intimidated by our environment. Many children and young animals feel this loving union with their environment, having not yet learned fearful reactions. A dog, cat, snake and lion all growing up together from infancy would feel no threat from, or fear of, each other. This reminds me of a true story told to me by a friend. He was hiking in the mountains of Colorado and began repeating a prayer as he walked. The more he repeated the prayer, the happier and more in love he was with all he saw around him. He began running down the path in ecstasy feeling unity with all around him. As he turned a bend in the path, he found himself face to face with a mountain lion only two meters away. He looked into the lion?s eyes and said with love, "Do not be afraid, I will not harm you." He could not feel fear in his state of love and unity. The lion turned and walked off. We suggest that you read the previous and forthcoming sections of this series. (Adapted from the "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Najemy available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html. This book and other writings can be viewed at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com where you can also download FREE articles and e-books.) ***** - SPECIAL OFFER - ***** A 40% DISCOUNT "The Psychology of Happiness" by Robert Elias Najemy *** THE BOOK THAT HAS CHANGE 20,000 LIVES *** Click here http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/psychofhappiness.html Thus you will be receiving the book at your home for only $ 10.80 plus $ 5 shipping = $ 15.80 or from Amazon.com at 30% discount http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 *********************************************************** The Psychology of Happiness by Robert Elias Najemy The Psychology of Happiness penetrates to the heart of the subject of human happiness in a deep and yet simple, clear and understandable manner. It offers a variety of techniques, questionnaires and guidelines for creating happiness. It covers many subjects including: Psychology of Evolution, Managing Emotions, Overcoming Fear, Loving Ourselves, Facing Loneliness, Stages of Love, Reconciling Inner Conflicts, Healing Our Inner Child, Forgiveness and Freedom, Coping with the Death of Loved Ones. Included are 23 case histories - real life situations and the possible lessons, which we can learn from such and similar situations. ************************************************************ Over 100,000 of Robert E. Najemy's 19 books have been sold in Greek, an impressive number considering the small population and reading tendencies of the Greek public. Some are translated into Portuguese, Polish, Arabic and German. ************************************************************ RESPONSES FROM READERS You are welcome to send in your thoughts ************************************************************ SEMINARS For information about ongoing and also weekend seminars in the following areas email us or call the following numbers GREECE: (in Greek) - Continuously - call 010 6818220 or 010 6818151 CYPRUS: (Greek) call 5- 431616 or 2-772808 or 9 626198 LEBANON (in English) call 03 819818 - Robert Najemy will be visiting the USA in August and September 2002. If you would like to organize a seminar in your area communicate with us at ren@holisticharmony.com ************************************************************ Visit us at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com or subscribe: * You are receiving this biweekly newsletter because you have become a member of the Holistic Harmony Network or you or a friend have requested a subscription for you. to subscribe click: subscribe@holisticharmony.com to unsubscribe click: unsubscribe@holisticharmony.com Those of you who are being confronted with serious Life Issues at this time are encouraged to try out our Life Clarification Process at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com ************************************************************ Articles in this and previous issues can be viewed at http://www.holisticharmony.com/clarity/ *********************************************************** Articles to look forward to in forthcoming issues: 1. What is Selflessness? 2. What is Real Love? 3. Forgiving Ourselves 4. DEALING POSITIVELY WITH THE LOSS OF LOVE ONES 5. ANXIETY ABOUT GRADES 6. Creating Harmony in our Hormones 7. Dealing With Criticism and Difference in Opinion 8. Positive Thought Forms - Beliefs Concerning Self-Worth 9. Breathe Freely by Removing Excess Mucus from the Body 10. Keeping the Vision Alive 11. WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE 12. Create Happiness with a Positive Life Outlook *********************************************************** Again we wish for you to be well and hope that you will care for yourself and your loved ones. May you be well on all levels of your Being. |
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