1. "How would I express my goal at this point? What is it that I want to change, create, attain or transform first?" What do I want to act on first?

2. "Why have I chosen this? Why is it important for me?" How do I imagine that I will benefit from this change or effort? How is my life less pleasant by not making this effort?"

Establishing why we want to make these changes produces the awareness, motivation and momentum to develop the necessary discipline.

3. "How do I plan to start? What will be my first step?"

Here we want to get as specific an answer as possible.

"I will begin to love myself more," is not a specific answer. More specific is " I will offer myself a massage once a week."

" I will work on my relationship with my spouse (or child), " is not specific. More specific is "I will arrange to have a deep discussion with my spouse (or child) this week in order to explain to them what I have discovered."

4. "When exactly will I do this and where? Can I be more specific about days or dates?"

Now we are being asked to commit ourselves to a more specific plan like " I am free on Saturday mornings, I will get my massage then, or I will arrange to have a discussion with my spouse (child) on Sunday morning."