1. I consciously commit myself to being as open and united as possible to you and to removing from myself anything which obstructs that unity.

2. I consciously commit myself to participating fully in my personal development and spiritual evolution.

3. I consciously commit myself to telling all the truth in every situation.

4. I consciously commit myself to empowering you in every way and helping you manifest your latent potential.

5. I consciously commit myself to being 100% responsible for the reality I create through my interpretations and projections.

6. I consciously commit myself to being happy together in this relationship.

7. I consciously commit myself to learning to love you, others and myself unconditionally.

8. I consciously commit myself to openly share with you my feelings and needs without complaining, criticizing, threatening, or blaming you and to being able to listen to your emotions and needs without taking them personally.

9. I consciously commit myself to being self sufficient and whole unto myself, so that i can be with you because i love you and not because i need you.

10. I consciously commit myself to keeping my agreements with you.

11. I consciously commit myself to learning to communicate effectively (a. Analysis, b. I message, c. Active listening, d. Love)

12. I consciously commit myself to cultivating my relationship with god

===================================

CLARIFYING OUR CONSCIOUS COMMITMENTS

The sample answers given here are in no way complete, you may find yourself giving totally different answers.

1. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING AS OPEN AND UNITED AS POSSIBLE TO YOU AND TO REMOVING FROM MYSELF ANYTHING WHICH OBSTRUCTS THAT UNITY.

Questions:

A. WHEN DO I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO FEEL CLOSE AND OPEN TO THE OTHER

1. IN WHICH SITUATIONS, IN RESPONSE TO WHICH BEHAVIORS, ACTIONS OR ATTITUDES?

Sample answers:

a. When they criticize me.

b. When they do not respond to my requests or needs.

c. When my energy is low and I am feeling down.

d. When I feel that they want to control me.

e. When I feel that they want to depend on me.

f. When the other has different beliefs such as from another religion, political party or

g. When the other is playing any of the roles such as intimidator, interrogator, victim of aloof.

h. When the other thinks he is superior.

i. When the other is ego centered.

j. When the other is not conscientious about his or her agreements of responsibilities.

k. When others do not agree with me.

l. When they do not understand me.

m. When they obstruct me from satisfying my needs.

n. When they do not respect me.

o. When they try to control me or suppress me.

p. When they tell lies or gossip about me.

r. When they harm me or someone close to me.

s. When they have evil intentions or ulterior motives.

t. When they are negative, complaining, whining, criticizing etc.

u. When they think they know it all.

v. When they give me advice I have not asked for.

x. When they play the role of the victim, the poor me and want attention.

y. When they do not take care of themselves or do not carry their load.

z. When they are weak and dependent

aa. When they use me or others.

ab. When they are cold and insensitive

ac. When they are lazy

ad. When they ignore my needs

ae. When they tell lies

B. WHAT IS IT THAT I FEEL IN THOSE SITUATIONS WHICH CAUSES ME TO CLOSE UP AND RESIST OPENNESS OR BEING CLOSE?

Fear, self doubt, rejection, insecurity, hurt, bitterness, anger, jealousy, injustice, suppression of my freedom, weakness.

C. WHAT EXACTLY DO I FEAR IN THOSE SITUATIONS?

1. ABANDONMENT?

2. SUPPRESSION, RESTRICTION OF MY FREEDOM?

3. CRITICISM, ACCUSATION, REJECTION?

4. BEING HURT?

5. THAT I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO BE MYSELF?

6. THAT YOU WILL ASK THINGS FROM ME WHICH I CANNOT GIVE?

7. THAT YOU WILL ASK ME TO FEEL THINGS WHICH I CANNOT FEEL AT THAT MOMENT?

8. BEING USED?

9. OTHER ?

D. WHEN I IMAGINE YOU APPROACHING ME

1. WANTING TO RECEIVE MY LOVE (AFFECTION, HELP), I FEEL:

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

a. Happy that you want my love.

b. Fear that I cannot satisfy your need.

c. Fear that if you get very close to me you may not really want me.

d. Fear that this will not last.

e. A blockage that as a man I am not to express love.

f. Suffocated by your need.

g. Security and self worth that there is a person who needs my love.

h. Some combination of the above and other ...

2. WANTING TO CRITICIZE, OR ACCUSE OR REJECT ME, I FEEL

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

a. Fear and the need to protect my self from your criticism.

b. Injustice because this is unfair.

c. Fear for my self worth.

d. Fear of being controlled by you.

e. Anger towards your tendency to do this frequently.

f. Hurt and insecurity because you do not accept me as I am.

g. Some combination of the above and other ...

3. WANTING TO GIVE ME YOUR LOVE OR AFFECTION, I FEEL...

a. Happy and secure because you love me.

b. Uncomfortable because I am not used to this. I am afraid I will be hurt.

c. Fear that you will ask for something in return.

d. Fear of losing my freedom.

e. Fear that you will then abandon me.

f. Peace that I am loved as I am.

g. Some combination of the above and other ...

4. WANTING SEXUAL CONTACT WITH ME, I FEEL

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

a. Happy because I am attractive to you and you desire me.

b. Happy because my sexual needs are being fulfilled.

c. Anxiety that I may not be able to satisfy you.

d. Repulsed because I do not feel that way now.

e. Angry because you approach me sexually but not emotionally.

f. Hurt because I perceive that you see me as an object for your satisfaction.

g. Affirmed that you want me.

h. Some combination of the above and other ...

5. WHEN I THINK OF OUR BEING TOGETHER FOR EVER, I FEEL ...

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

a. Security and peace that I am safe because we will face life together.

b. Happy because we will be able to enjoy each other continuously.

c. Fear that I will feel suppressed and bored.

d. A feeling of being trapped and unhappy.

h. Some combination of the above and other ...

E. MY GREATEST INTERNAL OBSTACLE TOWARDS FEELING CLOSE TO YOU IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS IS...

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

1. I fear being hurt by you.

2. I fear that you will limit my freedom.

3. I fear that you will leave me.

4. I fear that I do not deserve being so happy, something bad will eventually happen.

5. I am angry at you.

6. I have a bad prototype for relationships from my childhood years.

7. Some combination of the above and other ...

F. MY FAMILY PROGRAMMING ABOUT CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS IS:

Some possible answers:

1. That one competes with the other.

2. That there is no real communication

3. That someone will be hurt or abused.

4. That no one will listen to my needs.

5. That one will cheat on the other.

6. That a conscious love relationship and a family are the basis of happiness.

7. That this is the purpose of our lives.

8. Some combination of the above and other ...

G. FEARS WHICH PREVENT ME FROM FEELING EVEN MORE OPEN AND CLOSE TO YOU ARE:

As I have already mentioned in my answers to question 4, plus the following:

1. That you will ask from me more than I can give.

2. That I will not be able to be myself in this relationship.

3. That if you really get to know me, you will not want me any longer.

H. THINGS WHICH I NEED FROM YOU IN ORDER TO FEEL MORE OPEN AND CLOSER TO YOU ARE

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

1. I need you to accept and love me as I am.

2. To not criticize me.

3. To understand and love me even when I am not in a good mood.

4. To verify your love for me in various spontaneous ways.

5. To be affectionate with me.

6. I need more sexual contact.

7. I need for you to listen to me when I need to talk and respond to my questions.

8. I need for you to respect my need to be alone occasionally.

9. I need for you to allow me a certain degree of freedom of movement.

10.I need for you to express your feeling and needs to me.

11.I need your trust and for you not to doubt me.

12. I need for you to be more independent and self sufficient.

13. I need for you to be happy about my success.

14. I need for you to share your problems and concerns with me.

15. I need for you to ask me if I am in the mood or if I would prefer to set up another time soon, before you start talking about something important.

Some combination of the above and other ...

I. THINGS WHICH I CAN DO IN ORDER TO BE MORE OPEN AND CLOSER TO YOU ARE:

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

1. I can overcome my fear of being abandoned.

2. I can learn to accept and love my self as I am.

3. I can develop inner security and self confidence.

4. I can realize that freedom is an internal state and not an external situation.

5. I can learn to accept criticism and use it for my personal growth.

6. I can learn to say no when I do not want to do something.

7. I can learn to take personal space, when I need it, so that I can be more positive to you.

8. I can learn to listen to your needs and try to support you in them.

9. I can learn to express my feelings and especially my affection, respect and love.

10. Some combination of the above and other

J. THAT WHICH BOTHERS ME MOST ABOUT YOUR BEHAVIOR OR ATTITUDE IS:

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

1. Your smoking

2. Your critical nature

3. Your not cleaning up after your self.

4. Your spending too much money.

5. Your closing into your self and not communicating with me.

6. That you are not affectionate or romantic.

7. Some combination of the above and many others ...

K. THAT WHICH I MUST LEARN IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN MY PEACE AND HAPPINESS WHEN CONFRONTED BY YOUR BEHAVIOR IS

Some possible answers depending on us and who is asking:

Here apply most of my answers to question "I" above, and also the following:

1. That my security and self worth are within me and do not depend on your presence, behavior or opinions.

2. To develop my relationship with God.

3. To love and accept you exactly as you are.

4. To love and accept myself as I am.

5. To remember at every moment that life gives me exactly what I need in order to learn my next lesson in life and continue my evolution.

6. To remember that you are my teacher on the evolutionary path.

Some combination of the above and many others ...

2. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO PARTICIPATING FULLY IN MY PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND SPIRITUAL EVOLUTION.

A. MY OBSTACLES TOWARDS BEING MORE COMMITTED AND STEADFAST IN MY DECISIONS FOR SELF GROWTH ARE:

Some possible answers might be:

1. Laziness

2. I feel suppressed when I keep a discipline.

3. I get the feeling that I am wasting my time or that it is egoistical to spend time on my self.

4. I fear what others will say if they see me employing techniques for my self improvement.

5. I have too many other needs and desires which occupy my time.

6. I do not want to leave the others alone.

7. I have many habits which occupy my time and energy

8. I have doubts whether it is worth it.

B. I WOULD LIKE TO EMPLOY THE FOLLOWING IN ORDER TO PROCEED IN MY EVOLUTION:

1. A proper diet.

2. Daily exercises, breathing techniques and relaxation techniques

3. Daily prayer and meditation

4. Stop smoking

5. Avoid gossiping and too much talking.

6. Get free from fear and jealousy.

7. Help the poor once a week.

3. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO TELLING ALL THE TRUTH IN EVERY SITUATION.

A. WHICH TRUTHS ( PERCEPTIONS, ACTIONS, EMOTIONS, NEEDS, DESIRES) DO I FIND DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS FREELY?

1. SO AS NOT TO HURT OR WORRY THE OTHER:

a. That I do not agree with everything he does.

b. That I have not always told him the truth.

c. That he is more ill than he thinks.

d. That other people gossip about him and do not think well of him.

2. SO AS TO AVOID CONFLICT:

a. That I do not agree with what he is doing.

b. That I do not want to do what he wants me to do.

3. OUT OF SHAME

a. That I have not been faithful in our relationship

b. That I have sexual fantasies.

c. That I am afraid to be alone.

d. That I am angry about something.

e. That I have made a mistake

4. OUT OF FEAR

a. That I have done something which the other does not approve of.

b. That I have made a mistake.

c. And most of those answers to question 3.

5. TO AVOID BEING HURT

a. The truth about what I do or need.

b. How much I really need the other.

c. My real feelings

6. SO AS TO PRESERVE MY SELF WORTH

a. Any mistakes or weaknesses which I might have.

b. Anything which I might have done which might not be accepted by the other.

7. OUT OF PRIDE - EGO

a. How much I admire the other.

b. That the other is actually right and I am wrong.

c. To ask for forgiveness when I feel the need.

d. To admit weaknesses and fears.

8. OUT OF COMPETITIVENESS - ANTAGONISM

Much the same as the answers to the previous question.

9. OTHER

B. POSITIVE EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS WHICH I FIND DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS FREELY TO YOU ARE:

1. That I love you.

2. That I respect and admire you.

3. That you do many things very well.

4. That I am grateful for all that you give me.

5. That I want you to be happy.

6. That you make me happy.

C. REASONS FOR WHICH I DO NOT EASILY EXPRESS THOSE POSITIVE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ARE:

1. It is not manly.

2. It might go to your head and you might start to think you are superior.

3. You might use that against me in a future argument.

4. I have not ever learned to do this.

5. I am occupied with my problems

6. I feel competitive with you and thus want to be on top.

7. I try to show how I feel with my actions.

8. I sense that you do not feel comfortable when I express positive feelings to you.

D. I NEED THE FOLLOWING FROM YOU:

1. To respect our agreements.

2. Affection and affirmation

3. To have a common line with the children.

4. To do things together once a week.

5. Cooperation with the cleanliness and order in the home.

6. For you to express your feelings and needs.

7. To affirm your interest in me in spontaneous ways.

8. To respect our economic situation.

4. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO EMPOWERING YOU IN EVERY WAY AND HELPING YOU MANIFEST YOUR LATENT POTENTIAL.

A. HOW DO I FEEL WHEN THE OTHER IS LOOKING POWERFUL, STRONG, INDEPENDENT AND BEAUTIFUL?

1. I sometimes feel lessened.

2. I feel jealous.

3. My self doubts are triggered

4. I feel happy for the other and his success.

B. WHEN THE OTHER IS VERY HAPPY ?

1. I feel happy for him.

2. I feel relaxed because he is okay.

3. I feel jealous.

4. I feel uncomfortable.

C. WHEN THE OTHER HAS ALL THE OTHERS' ATTENTION?

1. Fear that no one will pay attention to me.

2. Jealous

3. Proud that someone, associated with me, is important to others.

4. Affirmed through association with the other.

5. Left out and ignored.

WHY

1. I have doubts about my self worth.

2. I fear that others will not pay attention to me.

3. I compare my self not the other because I believe that my self worth is measured in relationship to the other - competitively.

4. If the other is worthy or better, then I am not.

5. I also believe that my self worth is dependent on who I am with, and that if you are worthy, then I am too.

D. I ACKNOWLEDGE AND RESPECT IN YOU THESE FOLLOWING POSITIVES TRAITS:

You are honest, caring, conscientious, capable with your hands, a good father (mother), responsible, talented, intelligent, moral, sincere, fun to be with, creative, resourceful, dedicated to what you do, considerate of others needs and feelings.

E. I ACKNOWLEDGE AND RESPECT IN YOU THE FOLLOWING TALENTS AND ABILITIES:

You cook well, keep a clean house, sing well, play a musical instrument, dance well, cultivate a healthy garden, communicate well with the children, are very capable in your work. You are good at fixing the plumbing, and the electrical appliances, at numbers.

F. IN REGARDS TO YOU LIVE AND EVOLUTION, I WISH THE FOLLOWING FOR YOU

I wish for you to be healthy, happy and in harmony with your environment. I wish for you steady growth, evolution and realization of your true self.

G. WHAT ELSE CAN I DO TO SUPPORT YOU TO CONTINUE BLOSSOMING?

The other will answer this is his or her own way.

5. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO TAKING 100% RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE REALITY I CREATE THROUGH MY INTERPRETATIONS AND PROJECTIONS.

A. SITUATIONS IN WHICH I HAVE NOTICED THAT I SOMETIMES DO NOT TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR CREATING MY REALITY , BUT RATHER BLAME OTHERS, OR WAIT FOR OTHER TO SOLVE MY PROBLEMS ARE ?

1. When I make mistakes, I blame others.

2. When I am afraid, I try to blame others.

3. When I need to make decisions, I search for others to make them for me.

4. When I feel jealous, hurt, angry or bitter, I blame others.

5. When others behave negatively towards me, I place the blame on them.

6. In relationship to my health.

7. In money matters, I do not function responsibly.

8. When I do not have what I want from life, I complain as if someone else is responsible for that.

B. HELP ME TO SEE IN WHICH OTHER SITUATIONS , OR WHICH RELATIONSHIP TO WHAT MATTERS, I MIGHT NOT BE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY REALITY.

The other will answer this question.

6. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING HAPPY TOGETHER IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

Some of the obstacles towards accepting to be happy with the other for long periods of time might be.

1. Fear of the unknown - we are not used to it.

2. A subconscious belief that we are not worthy of happiness.

3. The programing that something negative will happen if we admit that we are happy.

4. Fear of losing control or appear not serious or adult like.

5. Because we are in the role of the aloof or victim and happiness or expression of enthusiasms would spoil our role.

A. I WOULD ENJOY DOING THE FOLLOWING MORE OFTEN IN ORDER TO SPEND MORE HAPPY TIME TOGETHER:

1. More physical, affectionate and sexual contact.

2. Non sexual contact like massage.

3. Going to the movies more frequently.

4. Playing games together.

5. Walking in nature together.

6. Dancing and singing together

7. Looking into each others eyes without needing to say anything.

B. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO IN ORDER TO ENJOY EACH OTHER AND LIFE MORE.

The other will answer this question.

7. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO LEARNING TO LOVE YOU, OTHERS AND MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.

A. WHAT ARE MY OBSTACLES TO LOVING MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY?

1. My programming form childhood years.

2. I have learned to measure my self worth:

a. in comparison to others.

b. According to what others think about me.

c. According to my success or failure in what I try to do.

d. Whether I am perfect or not.

e. Whether I make any mistakes or not.

3. I have been programmed to believe that I am a sinner and not worthy of love.

4. I do not have my parents approval.

B. WHAT ARE MY OBSTACLES TO LOVING OTHERS AS THEY ARE?

1. Lack of self acceptance

2. My fear of others:

a. They might reject me.

b. They might harm me

c. They might limit my freedom

d. They might hurt me emotionally

8. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO OPENLY SHARE WITH YOU MY FEELINGS AND NEEDS WITHOUT COMPLAINING, CRITICIZING, THREATENING, OR BLAMING YOU AND TO BEING ABLE TO LISTEN TO YOUR EMOTIONS AND NEEDS WITHOUT TAKING THEM PERSONALLY.

Some frequent unpleasant emotions might be:

FEAR, DISCOURAGED, REJECTION

ANXIETY, DEMEANED, HURT

WORRY, DISILLUSIONMENT, INSECURITY

ABUSED, ANGER , HATE, DEPRESSION

FRUSTRATION, LONELINESS, BITTERNESS

JEALOUSY, ENVY, UNWORTHY

RAGE, SELF REJECTION, SELF DOUBT

SHAME, INJUSTICE, GUILT, SHAME

PITY, SELF PITY

Our pleasant emotions could be:

LOVE, HAPPINESS, COMPASSION, UNDERSTANDING, AFFECTION

BROTHERLINESS, UNITY, SECURE

PEACEFUL, COURAGE

ENCOURAGEMENT, JOY, PATIENCE

GRATITUDE, ACCEPTANCE, FULFILLMENT

FAITH, HOPE, PEACE

AFFIRMATION, RESPECT, SATISFACTION

PRIDE, ESTEEM, ADMIRATION

A. WHICH EMOTIONS DO I FIND MOST EASY TO EXPRESS?

1. Discontent - Bitterness

2. Anger

3. Hurt

4. Self pity

B. WHICH EMOTIONS DO I FIND MOST DIFFICULT TO EXPRESS?

1. Fear

2. Anger

3. Sexual needs

4. Hurt

C. WHICH EMOTIONS DO I FIND EASY TO ACCEPT IN MY PARTNER ( OR OTHER) ?

Fear, Love, Admiration

D. WHICH EMOTIONS DO I FIND DIFFICULT TO ACCEPT IN MY PARTNER (OR OTHER)

Anger, Rejection, self pity, sexuality, fear, bitterness, joy.

E. DO I FIND THAT I EXPRESS SOME EMOTIONS DIFFERENTLY WHEN IN THE PRESENCE OF MY PARTNER (OR OTHER)? HOW?

1. I express joy more easily when my partner is not there.

2. I am more antagonistic when he or she is there.

3. I express my bitterness more easily when he or she is not there.

F. I HAVE NOTICED THAT THE FOLLOWING OF MY EMOTIONAL REACTIONS ARE SIMILAR TO THOSE WHICH I OBSERVED IN OTHERS IN MY CHILDHOOD YEARS.

I find that I am still locked into whatever I feared, rejected, haven't forgiven from those years. They are still in my life, those things which I:

1. Feared ,

2. Rejected and

3. Have not forgiven.

9. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING SELF SUFFICIENT AND WHOLE UNTO MYSELF, SO THAT I CAN BE WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND NOT BECAUSE I NEED YOU.

A. WHEN I THINK OF MYSELF AS BEING INDEPENDENT, I FEEL THE FOLLOWING EMOTIONS BECAUSE I HAVE THE FOLLOWING BELIEFS:

1. Alone and fearful, because I believe that I am not safe if I am alone.

2. Fear that I will not be able to cope with the responsibilities, because I believe that I am not capable of coping with life alone.

3. Fear that If I do not need the other, he will not pay any attention to me.

4. Fear that I may not be accepted in our social circles alone.

5. Free and happy because there will be no one to limit my freedom.

B. MY FAMILY PASSED ON TO ME THE FOLLOWING MESSAGES ABOUT BEING INDEPENDENT:

1. It is egotistical.

2. It is dangerous

3. It is antisocial

4. You must be independent in order to make it in the world.

C. UNTIL NOW I HAVE FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO BE INDEPENDENT IN RELATIONSHIP TO THE FOLLOWING:

1. Money matters

2. Facing life

3. Social activities

4. My self worth and self respect.

5. Facing loneliness

6. Dealing with my emotions

7. Making decisions

8. other

D. I FIND MYSELF OCCASIONALLY AVOIDING FEELING INDEPENDENT BECAUSE:

1. I want your attention

2. I fear being alone

3. It is an unknown to me.

4. I do not want responsibilities.

5. I do not know how to fill my time.

E. I WANT TO FEEL INDEPENDENT FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:

1. Only then can I be happy and free.

2. Only then can I love you without conditions.

3. I see that I burden you by being dependent on you.

4. Attachment and weakness are not love.

F. IN ORDER TO BE INDEPENDENT, I NEED TO :

1. Overcome my fears of responsibility, being alone of making decisions, and of failure.

2. Believe in my self.

3. Feel my self worth

4. Feel God's presence in my life.

5. Have trust in people, God and nature.

10. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO KEEPING MY AGREEMENTS WITH YOU.

A. WHICH OF MY AGREEMENTS DO I HAVE DIFFICULT IN KEEPING ?

1. TIME AND APPOINTMENTS:

a. I am late for my appointments

b. Late arriving from work

c. Late in completing my responsibilities

2. WORK AND RESPONSIBILITIES WHICH I HAVE ACCEPTED:

a. I do not do dishes as promised

b. Neglected to take out garbage as agreed.

c. Forgot to feed the dog.

d. Am late in paying the bills

3. ETHICAL AGREEMENTS:

a. Have told some white lies so as to not have conflicts.

b. Have not been faithful to my wife (husband)

4. MONEY MATTERS :

a. Spending more than agreed

b. Hiding money from the other.

5. ORDER AND CLEANLINESS:

a. Leave my clothing and objects around the house.

b. Forget to wipe my feet off as I come into the house.

c. Neglect to do my share of cleaning.

OTHER _____________________________

B. WHAT ARE THE INNER FACTORS WHICH PREVENT ME FROM KEEPING MY AGREEMENTS AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE TO ?

1. Laziness

2. I feel suppressed when I have to do things.

3. When I have negative feelings towards the other, I do not want to keep our agreements as a form of punishment towards him.

4. When the other pressures me, I react by not keeping our agreements.

5. When we are having a fight about who is right and who is wrong, I neglect my agreements purposely as a war tactic.

6. When I have been pressured to make an agreement, I really do not want to, I do not keep it.

7. When my other needs come into conflict with our agreement.

C. WHICH BELIEFS OR EMOTIONS OBSTRUCT MY KEEPING MY AGREEMENTS?

1. That I am not free to do what I want, when I am bound by agreements.

2. That they are not important.

3. That the other wants to limit me.

4. That no one else keeps them.

5. That it is not big thing if we do not keep them.

D. WHAT DO I PLAN TO DO FROM NOW ON IN ORDER TO BE MORE RESPONSIBLE IN KEEPING MY AGREEMENTS?

1. Remember that freedom is being free to keep my agreements, or being free not to make agreements which I do not want to keep.

2. That I love the other and do not want to hurt or worry him or her.

3. That I would not like the other to ignore agreements which were important to me.

11. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO LEARNING TO COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY .

This subject has been discussed in other chapters and other books as already mentioned. The main aspects of effective communication are:

a. Self analysis and self knowledge

b. Taking 100 % responsibility for our reality, and especially our emotions.

c. "Active Listening" or learning to listen to what others are saying , feeling and needing.

d. "I-messages" or learning how to express what we need, feel and believe to other without accusing, criticizing or demeaning the other.

e. To love and care for the other and want to create an atmosphere of mutual love and respect.

12. I CONSCIOUSLY COMMIT MYSELF TO CULTIVATING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

Our relationship with the divine is much too large a subject to cover in this book. It has been discussed in detail in the books, "Universal Philosophy" and "The Art of Meditation".

The main methods of developing that relationship are:

1. Participation in Liturgy (according to you beliefs)

2. Prayer and meditation

3. Reading about the lives of saints and about spiritual truths.

4. Service to those in need.

5. Acceptance of the Divine Will in our lives.