QUESTIONNAIRE TO BE USED IN ACTIVE LISTENING

Even though this list of questions was created as a guide for active listening, it has proven to be a very effective questionnaire for self-analysis. Whenever you have anything bothering you, try to answer these questions in the order they appear below.In addition to your logical responses, imagine how your inner child might answer.

a. No counseling, criticism, advice.

b. We don't take over the conversation to give our opinion. We let the other person talk. Ask questions only when he stops or is blocked off.

c. Our first questions should reexpress what we heard using our own words in order to make sure that we have understood correctly what is going on inside the other person. (We do not analyse the other person).

d. There is no need to be restricted to the questions below, they are designed to serve as a guide.

1. How you feel: What emotions do you have concerning this subject, event, or situation?

2. Do you have any other emotions, in connection with this?

3. How do you feel about yourself when you have these emotions?

4. In what other situations have you felt similar emotions?

5. How long have you felt this way?

6. How often do you feel this way?

7. Did you ever feel this way as a child or in the past in general?

8. Are there, or were there, moments during which despite you were in a similar situation, you managed to feel and / or react differently?

9. Which and when were these moments? (Quest.8)

10. What did you say to yourself in these moments which helped you not to feel and/ or react differently? (Quest.8)

1. What do you believe about what's happening that makes you feel that way?

2. What do you believe which makes you believe in this? (Quest.1)

Keep asking which belief is "behind" and creates each belief which you discover.

3. And if what you want does not really happen? What does this mean? What will happen? What will not happen? What will you loose? What is in danger if what you want does not happen?

4. And if what you want does not happen what does this mean: about you: about others: about life itself?

5. What is the possible danger here?

6. What do you fear in this situation?

7. What is the worst that can happen here?

8. And if this should happen? (Quest.7)

9. What makes you believe that this might happen and that it will be so horrible if it does?

10. What were your parents' convictions about this?

11. Do you always believe this? (Quest.7)

12. Do you consciously believe this, that is, do you believe it is an objective truth? (Quest.7)

13. Perhaps you can't see any conscious conviction that creates these emotions in you, but, despite this, you feel bad about it just the same. What is it that your subconscious (the child within) could believe to make you feel these emotions when this happens?

14. What is it you want or you believe you must have, which other people or the particular situation prevent you from having?

15. What do you lose when this happens?

16. Did you have the acceptance and love which you needed from your parents?

17. Did your parents trust your ability to deal with life?

1. If life is a school and you have come here to learn some lessons, what is it that life is trying to teach you in this case?

2. What inner preparation can you make in order to learn these lessons more effectively? (Quest.1)

3. What can you do externally to overcome the problem?

4. Is there something others can do to help? Can you express this wish for help or cooperation now as if you were talking to them? (Psychodrama or written communication).

5. Is there something I can do to help you? (Who can help you?)

6. If you had faith in yourself, would you feel the same?

7. What convictions or truths could help you to feel better or to overcome it?

8. What changes you would like to make in your life?

a) In your thinking?

b) In your habits?

c) In your manner or communication?

d) In your way of life?

9. What is it that you would like to express to others that you haven't expressed, or that you find difficult to express? (Parents, child, companion, colleagues etc.)

10. If you had a magic wand""

a) What reality would you create for yourself (without any restrictions)

b) How would you like to be?

11. If you had no financial, family or social obligation, what would you do with your life?