She needs to make her actions, achievements and service know to others sometimes overtly and at others in inconspicuous ways. She also cannot tolerate her own or others' mistakes. Thus she cannot admit her mistakes or faults. To do so would to indicate that she is not worthy.

She also needs to find many faults as possible in others. The more faults she finds, the more her own self worth is verified. The more she is the victim of others' mistakes or laziness or irresponsibility, the more affirmed she feels.

She seeks out situations in which she can be the martyr who does what the others neglect to do and again affirms that she is good and the others are not.

She consistently undermines her own happiness and wellbeing. She does not feel that she deserves any lasting happiness. Also, being happy means that she is not the victim diminishing the feeling of being a good person that she gets from being happy.

Her behavior is of course, frustrating for those around her. She feels easily hurt, demeaned or rejected. She is antagonistic and competitive. She needs to be affirmed frequently and will often be critical to others. Her behavior is different towards those from whom she needs affirmation than towards those from whom she does not. She can easily get angry and become intimidating or in some cases might retreat feeling again the victim.

She does not allow herself time for self care. She does not believe that she deserves to spend time on herself.

Pushing herself relentlessly, she has little patience with for those who do not push themselves. She tends to tests others' love, not believing that they can really love her. This can be very trying for those who do in fact love her.

In general she creates tension in her environment.

1. She received the message that she was bad, unworthy and guilty and was rejected in various ways, when she did not do what her parents asked or did not fulfill their needs.

2. Her parents also had such feelings about themselves.

3. As a girl she was given less importance and valued less than male siblings.

4. She was told that God does not pardon, but rather, punishes the guilty.

5. She was made to feel guilty about her sexuality and contact with boys in adolescence.

6. She was approached sexually by an uncle, something, which the family never faced, choosing to deny it, thus causing her to take on the blame herself for what had happened.

1: I am guilty, I am a sinner, and I am no good.

2: I am not worthy of love, acceptance, or help from man or God.

3. If I am the victim, then I am worthy

4. I have sinned.

5. Others did not give me love and affection and this means that I am not worthy.

6. My sexuality is a sin.

7. Whoever makes mistakes is guilty, a sinner and unworthy of love.

8. I am guilty when others criticize or accuse me or when they complain or are not happy.

9. I am unworthy when others work harder than I do.

10. I am unworthy when I do not reach my goals.

11. I must do a lot more than others in order to be worthy.

12. When I am criticized or someone raises his voice at me, it means that I am in danger and not worthy.

13. I must be perfect (in cleanliness, tidiness, order, appearance) to deserve love and acceptance.

1: I am a good and worthy person.

2: I am worthy of love and respect exactly as I am.

3. I am worthy even when others are good and capable.

4. I am a creation of the divine.

5. I am worthy of love and respect even when others are not capable of giving them to me.

6. My sexuality is an aspect of my divine nature.

7. Mistakes are a natural aspect of any creative or growth process.

8. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of others' behavior.

9. My self worth has nothing to do with my or others' achievements.

10. I feel safe and secure in all situations.

11. As beings in evolution, we all deserve love and respect, even when we are not perfect.

1. Giving her love and affirmation.

2. Understanding her need to talk about herself and find fault with others, and not get caught up in that.

3. To be firm and loving with her when she seeks to find fault in others. To lovingly not allow her to perpetuate this illusion.