He has difficulty knowing what his needs are when he is with others. In this role others needs are more important that his. He would never want to express a need that would prevent others from getting what they want. Playing the savior often causes him to become the "victim" of those he is trying to "save".

He is so preoccupied with other people's problems that he seldom recognizes or confesses his own.

His family complains that he gives more time to solving other people's problems, than theirs. He does feel responsible for his own family, but has a greater need to solve others' problems, as he receives greater feelings of recognition and self worth from that.

He often feels used, tired and resentful that he spends so much time on others and they do not reciprocate.

He worries about others and becomes stressful about their situations and their problems. He advises them and he tries to control them, exerting pressure on them (for "their own good", or to prevent them making a mistake and thus possibly ruining his "results").

He criticizes and rejects others when they make mistakes or when they do not follow his directions or orders.

He gives advice even to those who do not ask for it and feels disappointed when they do not follow his advice.

He attracts to himself people with problems and rejects himself for not being able to "save' them or to solve their problems.

He finds it difficult to confess or express his weaknesses, his needs, his fears or his own problems. He fears, that in doing so, others will see his faults and lose respect for him.

As a child, he was programmed to believe that he was responsible for his siblings and also his mother played this same role.

1: I am responsible for the others' reality.

2: Without me the others cannot progress, cannot be well.

3: It's my fault if the others are not well.

4. If I am not able to create a perfect reality for them, I have failed in my role and I am not worthy.

5. If others are not happy with me, I have therefore failed and I am not worthy.

6. If others do not trust me, I am not worthy.

7. If others do not listen to me, do not obey me, do not follow my advice, then I am incapable in this role, and I am unworthy.

8. If I am no good in my role, I will not be respected, and will be unworthy of their esteem. I will end up alone and will be in danger.

9. If I am not in control of things around me, anything can go wrong. I cannot trust others. If I am not in control, I am in danger.

10. If I show weakness or need or if I have vices:

a. I will be rejected, I will not be wanted, and I am in danger.

b. My weaknesses will be used as a means to hurt me. I am in danger.

11. I am worthy only if I am in the position of authority- i.e. teacher, savior, parent. Only then can I feel safe and secure.

12. If I am needed (as a teacher, a parent, a savior), I will not be abandoned. I will not be alone.

1: Each of us is 100% responsible for his or her own reality.

2: Each of us is guided from within.

3: The others are totally responsible for the reality that they create.

4. My self worth is totally independent of what is happening with others.

5. My self worth is independent of other peoples' ability to trust me or not.

6. I am responsible only for my efforts and not for the results in any endeavor.

7. I deserve love and respect exactly as I am.

8. I trust others and the Divine.

9. I feel more united with others when I share my weaknesses and faults with them.

10. I am worthy of love and respect because of my being and not because of any role I play.

1. Understand that he is seeking his self worth and inner security by playing this role.

2. Take responsibility for their reality.

3. Gently refuse to allow him to control them and take control of their own lives.

4. Lovingly assert their need to take responsibility for their own decisions but also to take on the consequences of those decisions.