The fact is that he does care for her and would not like to lose her, but cannot control his needs, which are to be with his friends and out of the home.

Ted had an extremely overbearing and controlling mother and didn't establish his freedom until he was about 22 years old. Although he loves Janice, he perceives her as an obstacle to his freedom. He has projected his mother onto her. He is unable to express this and simply avoids her.

She on the other had a father who abandoned her. And now Ted is doing the same.

The more he avoids her, the more demanding she becomes and then in turn, the more he fears being controlled by her.

They are reliving their childhood programming and will need to liberate themselves in order to heal themselves and their relationship.

1. To feel happy and fulfilled and worthy even when he is not there.

2. To communicate her need for him to be there more clearly, assertively and lovingly.

3. To love and accept him as he is with his need to be away.

4. To search (perhaps with him) for what she might be doing which might be causing him to avoid her or his home.

5. Not to take this personally and realize that his need is not an expression of rejection nor a lack of love towards her, but simply his fear or need.

6. Not to measure her self-worth by the attention which she receive from him.

7. Not to nag about this, but to discuss it openly and without accusations.

8. To develop more personal interests to fill her own time.

9. Perhaps to join him in some of his activities that he feels comfortable sharing with her.

10. To get free from any beliefs that she does not deserve something better; or that this is the way it will be, because her father left her.

11. To express her needs more frequently and to think of interesting activities which they share.

12. To work on her relationship with her father, and the conclusions which she made as a child.

1. To feel happy and fulfilled at home and with Janice

2. To be able to be himself with Janice and his mother.

3. To free himself from the fear of being controlled.

4. To realize that a relationship requires some energy and cannot be kept up in this way.

5. To focus on his love for Janice and express it in ways in which he feels safe.

6. To work on his relationship with his mother, and the conclusions which he made as a child.

Some beliefs that will help them get free from these mechanical ways of interacting are:

1. Fulfillment and happiness are within me and do not depend on anyone else.

2. I accept and love myself regardless of the other's behavior.

3. I express my needs and feelings assertively, clearly and lovingly.

4. Unity is not dependent on how much time we spend together, but how we feel towards each other.

5. Life gives me exactly what I need in each moment in order to learn and grow.

6. I feel safe and secure within myself.

1. I love my wife and want to spend time with her and express my love to her.

2. I am free to be myself in every situation, even with my wife and my mother.

3. Freedom is an internal state. I am free to spend time at home and with my wife.

4. As I would not like to be alone at home, I choose not to leave my wife there alone.

5. I see all women as sister souls in the process of evolution.

6. I accept and love myself as I am.