Mark is actually not having an affair yet, but is interested in another woman. Until now, they have had long conversations and both are very hesitant to make that step of coming together physically. Mark wants to continue to see Marsha without Wendy. He does not even want her to know about this "contact." He wants to be with someone who "understands" him.

Wendy frequently complains to him about the family problems and how she is the victim of this situation in which she is sacrificing her time and her profession satisfaction to be with the children.

She feels hurt that Mark does not appreciate her sacrifice and does not show her more love and affection.

Ever since the children were born, it has been difficult for him to see her sexually and she is not receiving the affirmation that she needs from him as a woman. She feels used.

Also, her nagging at him makes her even less inviting to him. He avoids her, physically and emotionally.

She perceives this as rejection and now that she suspects he is seeing someone else, she is even more needy of some type of affirmation and has become critical, accusing and demanding.

The more she pressures him for his attention and love, the more he feels the need to avoid her. The more he avoids her, the more rejected and betrayed she feels.

In her own way, she is pushing him away from her. By not giving her what she needs, he is augmenting her negativity which then bounces back at him.

They are growing further apart and seldom enjoy each other's company any more.

Both need to look into and transform their belief systems in order to create a more alive and truthful relationship in which each takes responsibility for his and her reality and together they help each other create happiness.

1. My self worth is dependent on being loved exclusively by my husband.

2. I am not enough for my husband.

3. I am the victim in this situation.

4. A wife should sacrifice her career for her husband.

5. I have lost something important in life by leaving my professional life. I am a victim of social programming.

6. My husband does not love me.

7. If my husband does not love me, I am not worthy

8. I am not safe in the world by myself and especially with the children.

9. I am in danger of being alone.

10. I need my husband in order to feel safe and worthy.

1. My wife doesn't understand me or accept me.

2. When she complains, she is rejecting me, and I am demeaned.

3. I cannot feel my self worth when she is rejecting me.

4. My freedom is in danger.

5. I might be happier with someone else.

6. I need someone who accepts me as I am and doesn't complain.

7. I cannot be happy when suppressed by this family situation.

8. I cannot feel sexual with my wife when she is trying to control me.

9. I cannot see my wife sexually, when I think of her as the mother of my children.

1. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of my husband's interests or behavior.

2. I am a vital and interesting woman, enough for any man.

3. I create my reality and life gives me exactly what I need to learn my next lesson in my growth process.

4. Both spouses have equal rights and responsibilities toward work and the family.

5. Whatever I do with love, cannot be a loss. I have lost nothing by giving my self to my children. The highest profession on the planet is that of the mother - our future depends on it.

6. My husband loves me but is controlled by inner obstacles towards expressing that love.

7. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of my husband's feelings or behavior.

8. I am safe in the world as I am.

9. There are millions of beings with whom I can connect if I feel the need.

10. I am safe and worthy in my self.

Mark might benefit from some of the following beliefs:

1. I want to understand and respond to my wife's insecurities at this time.

2. I recognize her complaints as an expression of her unfulfilled needs and seek to fulfill them as much as possible.

3. I am worthy of love and respect regardless of my wife's satisfaction or behavior.

4. I am a free soul.

5. Happiness is within me and not in some other.

6. I accept and love my self as I am.

7. I love my family and gladly surrender my other needs for their welfare.

8. When I focus on my wife I perceive the being I originally loved on all levels, even physically.

9. I love my wife. I want her to be happy and I behave accordingly.