Although Paul does love Anna, he does not enjoy communicating as much as she does and feels very uncomfortable sharing his feelings, mostly because he is not very familiar with them. And when he is aware of his feelings, he is ashamed to share them because he fears that this will lessen his "manhood".

We have here a conflict of needs. The more Anna pressures Paul to open up and communicate, the more he withdraws and avoids her. If she pressures him too much, he pushes her away with anger.

Thus, Anna feels rejected and unloved and Paul pressured and suppressed. The more Paul avoids Anna and does not fulfill her needs, the more negative, critical and blaming she becomes. In response to this negative input from Anna, Paul avoids her even more.

He feels that she does not understand and does not accept him as he is. She feels that he does not love her and that he rejects her as a woman and a partner in life.

Anna is unhappy and is not at all satisfied with her marriage. Her needs are not being fulfilled. Paul directs his attention to other activities such as work, sports and recreation with friends.

Both are susceptible to others of the opposite sex who "understand" them.

Here, two individuals who actually love each other, have become victims of their programming and needs. Their attachments, fears and lack of communication skills is destroying their relationship and their happiness.

They both need to understand the beliefs creating their fears and attachments, so as to be able to but themselves in the other's position and understand the other and communicate more openly and clearly.

This book is dedicated to our freedom from such robot like mechanical interactions.

1. I need to share my feelings with people I love in order to feel safe and also to feel close to them.

2. I cannot feel close to others unless I know what they are thinking and feeling.

3. If others do not want to share with me, that means there must be something wrong with me.

4. If others do not want to communicate with me, that means that they do not love me.

5. I cannot feel safe with someone I do not know emotionally.

6. I must share my problems with my loved ones. I need their input.

7. I am the being done injustice to. I am the victim.

8. I am responsible for Paul's happiness.

9. My self worth and security are dependent on how much my husband cares for me and shares with me.

1. I am in danger when communicating feelings.

2. Feelings are for women; Men are for action.

3. I am in danger if I have feelings of weakness.

4. I must never show weakness.

5. She is suppressing me and I am losing my freedom.

6. She does not accept me as I am and wants to change me. I am in danger here.

7. I am the victim of her criticism.

8. I must protect my freedom by being away from her.

1. I feel close to Paul regardless of how much he can share with me.

2. I am lovable and safe even when my husband is unable to communicate.

3. Life gives me exactly what I need in order to learn my next lesson.

4. I dynamically create my reality with or without my Paul.

5. I accept and love myself regardless of his behavior.

6. I understand his difficulty to communicate and love him anyway.

1. I feel safe and comfortable communicating my feelings to my wife.

2. I accept my feelings and share them with my loved ones in order to create deeper love relationships.

3. I am free to be myself in every situation.

4. I enjoy sharing my inner world with my beloved wife.

5. Life gives me in each moment exactly what I need to learn my next lesson