when he arrived home from work

His wife Olga, however, became depressed hearing daily this daily negative description of his work place, the city they lived in and life in general. Nikos released his negativity in this way. But Olga was taking it in.

She then became angry and started to criticize him without mercy and all his negativity came back to him. Olga couldn't stand it anymore. She couldn't listen any more to what was wrong with everyone and everything.

Olga however was not taking responsibility for her reality. She was neglecting to realize that she was attracting this behavior from Nikos and was disturbed by it because she herself thought in this way and was now trying to get free from her own negative way of thinking. Thus Nikos was reflecting her own tendency to think negatively and to criticize others for everything. Now that she saw this in Nikos, it upset her even more.

Nikos on the other hand was simply attracting the criticism and rejection which had experience from his mother for so many years as a child. This criticism hurt and saddened him. He need support from his wife but was getting the opposite.

She on the other hand needed a positive and pleasant attitude from him. She needed him to be strong and not a complainer. She need him to think positively so that she could feel safe and secure.

Neither was getting what she or he needed from the other. They loved each other and really wanted to support each other, but their programmings, needs and fears were controlling them and they could not get free to experience and express that love.

What can they do? What are their lessons?

Nikos: Is his lesson to learn to think positively and to realize the power of negative thinking? Does he need to learn to work out his problems internally and not express them with his wife? What does he need to learn about her criticism? Does he need to learn to accept himself and project greater self respect? How can he perceive his work and life more positively? Does he need to work with his childhood years and the rejection he felt from his mother?

Olga: Does she need to learn to think more positively? Does she need to be able to listen to her husband without identifying with his negative view? Does she need to learn to be more understanding? Is her lesson to be more adamant and refuse to listen to his negative perceptions of life? Does she need to work on overcoming her own negativity?

Each will have to analyze himself and discover his or her personal lesson. The questionnaires in the following chapters will help.