Afterwards he feels guilty, becomes defensive, and occasionally, also aggressive. He on the one hand cannot say no mainly because he fears rejection and conflict. On the other hand, he feels suppressed by whatever he has to do. He feels suppressed for two reasons. First, he lacks the self confidence that he can do something right. He is very afraid of making a mistake, something for which he repeatedly received rejection and punishment from his father as a child. His father assured him that he would never be able to do anything with his life.

The second reason he felt suppressed is that he feels that his freedom is being restricted because he has to do what others ask him to do. He does not want to do what others tell or even ask him to do. For him it is the same, since he is afraid to say no, whenever someone asks something from him, it is like telling him that he must do it. He constantly feels that someone is telling what to do, even when they are simply asking. This, too, is a result of his being ordered around by his parents as a child.

His wife Danai and his family have a serious problem with his tendency to leave things undone especially when he has agreed to do them. They cannot depend on him and feel that they are being done injustice to. They are angered by his apparent laziness and lack of sense of responsibility. They are criticize and reject of him.

In response he fells the victim and sometimes adopts the role of the Intimidator shouting at the others so that will stop pressuring him.

His wife Danai on the other hand has become the responsible one in the family. She now has created the belief that she cannot depend on Stathis. He expects him to be irresponsible. She now waits for him to foul up so that he can jump on him. She criticizes him in front of others, and this hurts him deeply.

She on other hand, feels alone, cheated and seriously abandoned by his lack of participation in their family life.

What does each need to learn here?

Stathis: Is his lesson is to overcome his fear of making a mistake? Or is it to feel free to say no, when asked to do something? Does he need to learn to feel free even when he has something to do? Does he need to work on his childhood years? Perhaps get free from the role of the irresponsible one and become more conscientious concerning what he has taken on to do? Does he need to learn that he is free not to agree to do something which he prefers not to? Does he also need to overcome his fear of conflict? Does he need to be able to share his fears with his wife?

Danai: Does she need to learn to be more understanding or more demanding? Does she need to change her image of Stathis in order to help him change? Does she need to analyze why she criticizes him in front of others? What does she do which causes Stathis to stay in his role? What role is she playing?

Only of they look into themselves and communicate honestly and openly will they find solutions to this problem.