It is not that she does not feel anger. She is often hurt and angry, but never expresses her anger to the others around her. She rejected anger as an emotion in her childhood because she received it continuously from her mother and had sworn never to be like her mother. And thus although she frequently feels abused and angry, she never expresses her anger.

Unfortunately, however, her husband and children receive that anger silently through her energy patterns and reflect back to her the anger which she is not expressing. Then Vicky feels even more abused as she had reasons to be angry and was not expressing it, and the others were now abusing her even more.

Her husband Christos could not understand why he was frequently angry at Vicky. He was not aware that he was reflecting back to her, her unexpressed anger which was boiling under the surface of her apparent role of the victim.

He on the other hand did become angry easily because his father was always angry. And thus Christos learned to solve his problems with anger. When others would not behave as he wanted or obstruct him from having what he wanted, he would immediately become angry with them and adopt the role of the intimidator. For him the others were always wrong and responsible for his unpleasant feelings. This is how he learned to function from his father.

Vicky, however, not being able to acknowledge her anger, because then she would be like her mother, whom she rejected and was ashamed of, was continuously in the role of the victim, as she was during childhood.

Thus they were a "perfect" pair. An intimidator and a victim who both had angry parents but responded differently. Of course neither was happy, nor satisfied with the other.

What do they need to learn in order to get out of theses roles and into a conscious love relationship?

Vicky: Does she perhaps need to learn some of the following lessons: To overcome her fear of conflict? To overcome the attachment or the fear which makes her angry and learn to love the other as he is? To learn to express her anger in the form of an "I message"? To learn patience, forgiveness, understanding? To realize that she has the right to express her needs and feelings and for them to be heard and understood by the others? To believe that the others love her? To be more pleasant and positive to the others? To get free from the belief that she is the victim or that others want to use or hurt her? To work on her childhood years and forgive her mother? To feel comfortable saying "no" and believe that the other will love her anyway? To express her needs more clearly and not expect the other to be a mind reader? To express her needs frequently and not expect the other to understand to first time? To acknowledge her anger and be able to express and explain it to the others? Not to fear the other or to give him so much power to criticize her or suppress her? To cultivate feelings of greater self-confidence and self-worth and to feel equal with others? To love and accept the other as he is without fearing him? To remember that she is God's child and has the same value, rights and power which the other has. To love and accept herself even when others criticize her or shout at her, and to realize that they have some problem? To express herself more clearly, lovingly and assertively without fear of what kind of reaction she might receive? To free herself from past experiences in which she might have been programmed to believe that she would receive this kind of reaction? To check if she perhaps has antagonistic feelings towards the other. Perhaps she is competing for who is right, or who has the best ideas, or who is most capable. And if so, to stop competing?

Christos: Does he perhaps need to learn some of the following lessons: To work on his childhood years and his relationship with his father? To realize that he creates his reality and not the others? To learn to express his needs with I messages and not anger? To respect the others more and not behave to them in a way in which he would not like the the others to behave to him? To find greater peace within himself? To help Vicky get free from the role of the victim and express her self?

Let us pray that they have the courage to take a look at their programmings, and free themselves from these roles.