Vaso's father cheated repeatedly on her mother and thus Vaso also has been programmed to believe that men are not faithful.

These two beliefs, that she cannot keep a man and that men are by nature not faithful makes her fearful and very jealous any time her husband is late from work, or spends time alone or perhaps shows attention to other women. Her fear and anxiety cause her to take on the roles of Interrogator, "where were you, what were you doing, why did it take you so long?". She also played the role of the victim, "You do not love me. No one loves me, no one cares about me."

These scenes and tension tire her husband Gianni who has the tendency to avoid contact with anything emotional. He begins closing off into himself even more and avoids Vaso.

As a result, Vaso becomes even more fearful and demanding. When Gianni΄s inner pressure arrives to a certain level he moves from the "aloof" mode to the "intimidator" and starts shouting and threatening that if she doesn't stop, he will leave her for good.

Gianni as a child learned to be aloof and not express his feelings much. He feels more comfortable at work and at the cafe than at home. He is the silent type at home, but very outgoing with his friends. He has associated women with criticism. His mother criticized him often and his father intimidated him. He learned to close off emotionally and not have much to do with the family. This is the way he deals with his fear of being hurt, by avoiding contact, being aloof.

Vaso interprets this as rejection and lack of love. She feels very hurt, rejected, unloved and unhappy. She believes that he is not interested in her and that he must be interested in someone else. Because Gianni avoids her, she has no one to talk with about her feelings or about the children.

Gianni, on the other hand, feels suppressed by her needs. Her need for continual affirmation of his love and interest is overwhelming for him and he closes off from her when she approaches. He is feeling suffocated in the relationship and in the responsibilities of raising a family. He believed that his dedicating so many hours making money for the family was a very clear indication of his love.

Vaso is hurt by his inability to be there for her or participate in the family. They gradually drift apart and seldom exchange affection and their sexual contact drops off almost completely.

Both are very unhappy and are feeling the victims of this situation from his or her own point of view.

Vaso in her loneliness meets a man who listens to her problems. She feels that at last someone cares. She wants to speak to him more and more often. A bond grows between them and they, gradually without wanting to, become affectionate. There emotional, platonic connection becomes physical.

Gianni on the other hand finds himself attracted to a woman at work, who seems to be relaxed and free in her expression. He is attracted to her. They begin to exchange information about each other. He shares that he is not very happy with his marriage, that he has not had contact with his wife for some time now. Their friendship gradually takes a more intimate form and they begin to meet secretly. Here was some who was giving him affection without demands or criticism, at least for the time being.

Both Gianni and Vaso are now living double lives. Both are in inner conflict. Both see the other as an obstacle to their freedom and happiness. Both have found someone else who makes them happier. But they have found someone who they see once a week, with whom they do not share the same house, children, responsibilities. money, vacations etc. But most of all they have not yet had the opportunity to become satiated emotionally and physically with each other to see if this erotic beginning can become a lasting love.

What could their lessons be?

Vaso: Does she needs to accept her self as a woman and believe that she is definitely interesting enough for a man to want to be with her in a life long relationship? (Because if she does not change this fear, the same will happen with the next relationship.) Does she need to change her perception of men? (Believing that men are unfaithful caused her self to push her husband away). Does Vaso need to create a more positive self image? Does she need to feel safer within herself, and more capable of handling life? Does she need to learn to face problems by herself without needing to discuss them? Does she need to see his love in his actions even when he cannot express it?

Gianni: Does he need to learn to get free from the role of the Aloof and become more active emotionally in his marriage and family? Does he need to learn to express his love to Vaso in ways in which she can feel it? Perhaps he needs to be able to listen to Vaso's needs behind her criticism? Perhaps he also needs to feel safe in the world of emotions?

Both of them: What do they need to learn about creating parallel relationships? That they almost never bring happiness? That it is easy to be happy with someone you meet occasionally and with whom you need not share any responsibilities? That these are external solutions which will likely not last? That if they separated and married those people they had now created relationships with, they most likely would find themselves in the same situation within three years? Should they separate?

Perhaps they both need to work with their childhood programmings which are the main cause of what is happening?

Whatever they chose to do, they would both benefit by working with following chapters.